To Live Life As One, Inside Out

Living in the Southwest is a little different. I grew up in Texas, but it is still green in Texas. Here we live in dessert.

There is so much beauty hidden around here. We have a lot of succulents, these cactus type plants that thrive here. I found this amazing new center plant for my outside table this weekend.

It is comforting to me to know that there are so many kinds of beauty. I am not the most faithful, most prayerful, most talented or most eloquent. I am one. For every woman there is a different kind of beautiful. I know this because God made each one, wove each one, breathed life into each one.

I have no problem looking out and seeing all of the other kinds of beauty, but sometimes it is hard to find it in this one, my one. What can He possibly see in this daughter?

I want to cry out, just like Peter, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” (Luke 5:8b). The more that I shout this out, the more God tells me who I am, and who He is. I am small, but He is big. I am incapable, but He is endless. I am sinful, but He is holy. I am ugly at heart, but He makes all things new.

I am not the kind of beauty that flowers or explodes once a year. I am a succulent that has survived the droughts. I have grown even though it appears slow. I am not desired for my aroma or my worldly beauty, but I am consistent. I steadily plug forward even when I don’t feel Him. I have been tested and I try.

The question that I seem to be asking myself is, am I willing to be this kind?

I would love to be a peony or a rununcula. That is not what I am, though, from the inside out. Am I willing to be unremarkable, or will I try to paste the petals of flowers on my slick frame to make myself more tolerable for me?

To be true to myself and to weather this life as one. One kind of beauty, created, woven and breathed. To represent Him as I was made to be. What a challenge, this one.

Is this “one” a challenge for you?