Listening To God Is Not Always A Polite Experience

A certain woman named Lydia, a worshiper of God, was listening to us; she was from the city of Thyatira and a dealer in purple cloth. The Lord opened her heart to listen eagerly to what was said by Paul. - Acts 16:14

Lydia.

This is a conversion story worthy of transcription. When I read the story of a woman in the bible, it makes me stop. While men were the primary actors in the unveiling of Christ’s story on earth, there were these women who express the intent of the gospel, highlighted amongst them. In most biblical stories, we see the heart of women in action rather than words. Inspiring.

Lydia was a worshiper. Yesterday, the pastor was talking about the story of Joseph. He came to the point, in the story, where Joseph has found his brothers tending the flock. Joseph was prepared to write up his behavioral analysis and return to Jacob, but as his brothers see him coming they plot to kill him. The pastor asked us, “What do people say when they see you coming?”

They said that Lydia was a worshiper.

She was also a purple cloth dealer. In these few verses, Lydia is identified in many roles, and in verse 15 we see her act of obedience as one who was baptized. Something happened in the middle, though. The Lord opened her heart to listen, eagerly.

Bare with me while I dust off my Greek books from seminary. The word eagerly is not actually in this text. Eagerly expresses the intensity of the word ‘opened’. Here, ‘opened’ is the same word used when a firstborn opens the womb. It is not a lightbulb going off, or a “Hmm, I’ve been wondering about that.” It is a violent crack in what was formerly understood, pushing through disrespectfully. It stops at nothing but complete transformation.

God opened something in Lydia that had been closed. She never even knew that it existed. She saw what she could not see before. She heard words that were completely understood for the first time. One moment she was a worshiper, and the next she was a listener.

The Lord opened her heart. To listen. He opened a soul to create understanding and desire to hear His word. That is what God does.

I would argue that this process does not stop. It seems that I move from one level of understanding to something completely new, as He bursts forth through my heart. He opens what was closed before and I am left on my knees, waiting to hear his voice. I have begun to ask for this in my prayer time.

This process is not polite. It was not for Lydia and it will not be for us. It is not safe. It is not controllable. It is what happens when we listen to the Father.

Blessings, as you listen to the Father, today.

A New Lesson On Fishing

This Sunday we had a guest speaker. I really look forward to hearing him when he is able to make the trip. Different voices can spur me to action. Different perspectives can convict me in new areas. I download sermons and speeches to my IPod so I, at least, have the option to learn when waiting on my car or in a doctor’s office. Sometimes, I just play Bedazzled.

The topic this Sunday was loving those who do not have a relationship with Jesus.

You will notice that I do not blog every day. Yesterday, I had every intention of blogging but my day took a different turn. I accompanied a relative of mine to an annual series of testing. My job is to accompany, listen, remember, write down, schedule, wait and drive. Glamorous...no, a privilege..yes.

I was able to spend the rest of the day with my family, and had a scrumptious dinner at the restaurant where we had our rehearsal dinner. It was a wonderful, abnormal day.

It seems that I have more abnormal days than normal, anymore. This wasn’t always the case, but I am learning to take the day as it is prepared for me. I pray about it, so it must be right.

The more that I embrace the abnormal schedule, as opposed to the predictable schedule, I have more experiences with people who do not have a relationship with Jesus. I see this trend growing in my life.

As a blogger, I interact with other women of faith, which thrills me; but, as a believer, I am called to live the commission to which we have all been appointed. Jesus commissioned us face-to-face, and I still believe in the power of human contact when doing ministry.

If I am to be completely honest, I pray for these opportunities to be used by God, yet, when it involves loving strangers I find that I am a little shy to complete them. Love can cross this timid line which makes me second guess extending my love to the unknown. It is a place that I need to grow in understanding and in truth.

Perhaps, I misunderstand how to love a stranger.

This Sunday, one simple point in the sermon cleared so much up for me. I learned the right way to fish for men. These fishermen that Jesus spoke to were fishing with a net. When you fish with a net, you catch all kinds of stuff. Our job is not to sort the fish, but to love. We let the angels do the dirty work of the sorting. We just love on everything in that net.

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and caught fish of every kind; when it was full, they drew it ashore, sat down, and put the good into baskets but threw out the bad. So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous...” - Matthew 13:47-49, NRSV

Simple?

Not for me.

This Sunday I learned that to love...

I need to intentionally place myself amongst those who do not know Jesus.

I need to act lovingly by speaking the name of Jesus to those who do not know Him.

I need to forget about sorting and just love.

This changes so much for me.

Does it change anything for you?

To Live Life As One, Inside Out

Living in the Southwest is a little different. I grew up in Texas, but it is still green in Texas. Here we live in dessert.

There is so much beauty hidden around here. We have a lot of succulents, these cactus type plants that thrive here. I found this amazing new center plant for my outside table this weekend.

It is comforting to me to know that there are so many kinds of beauty. I am not the most faithful, most prayerful, most talented or most eloquent. I am one. For every woman there is a different kind of beautiful. I know this because God made each one, wove each one, breathed life into each one.

I have no problem looking out and seeing all of the other kinds of beauty, but sometimes it is hard to find it in this one, my one. What can He possibly see in this daughter?

I want to cry out, just like Peter, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” (Luke 5:8b). The more that I shout this out, the more God tells me who I am, and who He is. I am small, but He is big. I am incapable, but He is endless. I am sinful, but He is holy. I am ugly at heart, but He makes all things new.

I am not the kind of beauty that flowers or explodes once a year. I am a succulent that has survived the droughts. I have grown even though it appears slow. I am not desired for my aroma or my worldly beauty, but I am consistent. I steadily plug forward even when I don’t feel Him. I have been tested and I try.

The question that I seem to be asking myself is, am I willing to be this kind?

I would love to be a peony or a rununcula. That is not what I am, though, from the inside out. Am I willing to be unremarkable, or will I try to paste the petals of flowers on my slick frame to make myself more tolerable for me?

To be true to myself and to weather this life as one. One kind of beauty, created, woven and breathed. To represent Him as I was made to be. What a challenge, this one.

Is this “one” a challenge for you?

What do you want? Answer the question.

When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Many sternly ordered him to be quiet, but he cried out even more loudly, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Jesus stood still and said, “Call him here.” And they called the blind man, saying to him, “Take heart; get up, he is calling you.” So throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. Then Jesus said to him, “What do you want me to do for you?” The blind man said to him, “My teacher, let me see again.” Jesus said to him, “Go; your faith has made you well.” Immediately he regained his sight and followed him on the way. - Mark 10:47-52, NRSV

These verses stop me every time I read them. I have sat and thought of myself as the one by the road, instead of Bartimaeus. I have played it over and over in my head. The truth is that Bartimaeus happens to be blind. I happen to be a sinner. We all happen to be something.

As soon as he realizes who stands before him, Bartimaeus asks for mercy. At this demonstration, voices dismiss him. Jesus wouldn’t be interested in someone like you. Contrary to their purpose, his pleadings became louder.

Have you heard voices of impolite dismissal in light of your faith?

The voices do not understand the heart. Jesus sees mine. He silences the crowd, the intolerant, the doubters, those who create the models of Christianity. There is only one thing left to do. Go.

Bartimaeus sprang up to stand before the voice of One.

What do you want me to do for you?

This question has a grip on my heart.

It is a question for me, about me, to me.

It asks of my faith, how big do you believe I can be?

How far do I reach?

How complete is your word “sovereign”?

My answer is a photograph of everything I understand about love.

It is the question for every believer who cries out for mercy.

What do you want Jesus to do for you?

Sam's Weekend and My Restlessness

I wouldn’t say that Sam is getting spoiled over this whole thing, but I will give you a glimpse of her weekend.

My best friend from college, who lived with me then and again for five years before I was married, brought doggie Peanut Butter Pie.

Sam thought that my flowers were for her. I didn’t tell her any different.

All in all, she was very satisfied.

As for me, I have felt restless. Perhaps seven days of dog-sitting have had their toll. My life has become the size of my house.

This morning I read, Luke 10:17-20, NRSV,

The seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord, in your name even the demons submit to us!” He said to them, “I watched Satan fall from heaven like a flash of lightning. See, I have given you authority to tread on snakes and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy; and nothing will hurt you. Nevertheless, do not rejoice at this, that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

I do not exorcise demons.

I would be bitten if I walked near a snake, stung near a scorpion. I cut myself for the third time this week on Sam’s aluminum food can.

I do not heal people.

The disciples rejoiced in all of these. I can only imagine how amazing it would be.

Stilling the seventy, Jesus set their eyes to the horizon, to the ONE thing. It made snakes and scorpions look small.

I share with the lost.

I write in His name.

I teach His word.

I stand beside people who accept Christ.

I minister alongside awesome women.

I am shortsighted, though. I rejoice and often obsess over these. Even worse, I obsess over their growth. Jesus set my eyes on the horizon this morning.

Their names, all seventy, are written in heaven. My name is written in heaven. We can rejoice now.

I Cling From the Rooftops

"My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me". - Psalm 63:8, NRSV

I have never fallen off of a building, but I have seen it. There are countless movies in which a hero slips from the roof, catching himself on a rain gutter or pole jutting conveniently from the side of this formidable structure. The coincidental placement of these life saving items always makes me roll my eyes, but secretly I am relieved to spare another life from the perils of a rooftop. I can only hope, that in this situation, I too would have the luck of a gargoyle or flag holder to cling to, upon my descent.

I would be a terrible heroine. I am a physical klutz. I have no doubt that if placed on a high rooftop, I would end up in a free fall from my sheer nature. I am also a spiritual klutz, which never lends itself to heroism. I stumble over the smallest of opportunities. Often, I will trip over the opportunity to envelop a sister into relationship. Instead, I keep her out by comparison, unwillingness and exclusion. I assess my figure against her figure, my circumstance against circumstance, my influence against her influence. My nature sets my in harm's way, high on the rooftops in the rain, and then it lures me to my descent.

There on the rooftop I stand, busy with my mental successes and failures while I do not seem to sense my gradual slide to the edge.

If I were a hero in a movie, I could handle this situation with brute strength, simply by grabbing the nearest rain gutter to pull myself up. I am not a hero. I am too out of shape and inexperienced to overcome this enemy. I am simply a housewife, a woman and a wife. I can only hold on so long. My strength will give out.

I know what is about to happen.

But, at that moment, before my fingers deceive me, what if, instead, it became effortless? What if I realized that I did not cling to a rain gutter or gargoyle, but a hand. After a few moments, I can ease my grip and I remain secure. The hand is assured.

What if the longer I hang there, clinging to this Life Saver, the more my hand and His seem to meld into one homogeneous mass? And, the longer I hang there, the less my body becomes aware of the problematic sway at my windy height?

What if clinging becomes my salvation, instead of the death of my strength? His hand can do what both of mine could not produce.

One day, I look up and I find that it is no longer my hand to which this Life Saver clings, but my soul. In His right hand I rest, and I do not ascend to the rooftops alone, anymore.

If you have not been there already, check out Kristen's (editor of Exemplify) series on leadership. She just started it today, and it has already challenged me!

Placing Pride

Now I know that the Lord will help his anointed; he will answer him from his holy heaven with mighty victories by his right hand.

Some take pride in chariots, and some in horses,

some take pride in cars or hair cuts some take pride in clothes and housewares some take pride in details and structure some take pride in a leisurely life some take pride in having the most followers some take pride in being alone some take pride in being seen some take pride in attending the right bible studies some take pride in having the right friends some take pride in having the most friends some take pride in knowing what to say some take pride in saying nothing some take pride in having the best children some take pride in their homes some take pride in making themselves crazy over their homes some take pride in accessories and bobbles some take pride in their paycheck and some take pride in passing beauty

If I am real, I have to say that I recognize some, have felt superior over others, and will encounter what is left. So where is my pride?

but our pride is in the name of the Lord our God.

They will collapse and fall, but we shall rise and stand upright.

Give victory to the king, O Lord; answer us when we call.

Psalm 19:6-9, NRSV

Scripture never rests, or sits still. That is one of the things that I really love about it. I can find a new word every day, sitting and waiting for me. Today, I learned about the placement of pride.

I am headed over to Let the Son Shine, today, for a week long study on Jonah. It sounded like so much fun to study with my friend Victoria, that I could not pass it up. We are studying Jonah in a Sunday morning class right now, which is really Sunday School for adults. (Do we have to change everything to make it sound more sophisticated?) So, I am interested to study it with these ladies and gather new perspective. Everyone is invited!

Are there any other online studies that we should know about? Leave me a comment and let me know.

God Will Seek It Out

God is omnipotent...omnipresent...omniscient...omni

He has the world in His hand and the universe in His reach.

I can only imagine that is a lot to manage. I have been listening to A Woman Inspired Conference this week. Managing even my little household is a full-time job. Do you know how to use a miter? I certainly don't. I am stunned by the organization and skill of some of the speakers...stunned. I have a long way to go.

In my daily hustle and bustle, I will admit that I don't take the time to seek out some of the little pieces of life. They are significant, but they are just little.

I can, but don't, dwell in the place where decisions start. I put out the fires where they end a great deal of the time.

The problem enters when I notice the result of my negligence. I did not gain twenty pounds as the result of swallowing a twenty pound bowling ball. I did it one Sweet Potato Chip at a time (that is what I am eating right now).

I do not seek "it" out...the little place.

I think that I want God to be like me. I want Him to not bother seeking out the little nuggets of eventual consequence. I want to make decisions on the fly, and apologize later. If asked, I would tell you that I am prayerful and I desire His will, but I know things that you don't. There are times that I go on autopilot. When I traveled this month, there were things that took a back seat. I squeezed in quiet times and prayed as I went. Forgiveness was an afterthought and confession came slowly. The truth is, when I am negligent, I always suffer.

God is not like me. God is never negligent. God resides where the fires rage, at the end of decisions, as well as the quiet inception of every journey. Not only that, but He seeks "it" out.

God seeks out every emotion...every thought...every heart...omni

In the pride of their countenance the wicked say, "God will not seek it out". - Psalm 10:4a, NRSV

The Sky Reflects His Mystery

First in my thoughts has been coming back to the blog world, after my trip. I waited to write until after I had listened to the last session of the A Woman Inspired – Nurturing Creativity & Efficient Living conference, today. It was so informative and Spirit filled. This online conference is going on the rest of the week, so if you have time you can sign up, too. It is going to be refreshing.

And, off of that wonderful topic…

I talked a little about my trip home last week. I desperately tried to take a picture of the sky for you, but my camera is too dinky. I guess this picture will have to do. When you walk out the door at my childhood home, you are just surrounded by the sky. It is so dark and the stars are so bright. They live as far as I can see in all directions. I can even see the cloudy looking, beyond distinguishable stars, dusty heavenly realms (my masters is in theology, not stars). Oh, it just makes my jaw drop.

I remember walking from my dad’s house to my sister’s house one night. It was so bright and welcoming, I thought that Christ had returned. I believed that if I just kept walking, I would be lifted up into that sky and taken home. I kept waiting for noise. I was just missing the trumpets, and apparently my mouth trumpet was not a satisfactory instrument to prompt His return. I tried.

My nephew and I used to lie on the trampoline and stare at that sky. So when he came to visit last summer, I took him to the planetarium. The “tour guide” was a wonderfully knowledgeable, and friendly man. It was such a pleasure to hear of the wonders of God’s hand from a secular perspective. It is still just as marvelous. Of course, I might have been the only person thinking that in the crowd. Maybe.

I am rusty on the details, now, so forgive me for my less than scientific approach. The topic was two little satellites destined for greatness as they mapped the solar system. This was so fascinating because they were never meant to get that far. They had a destination in mind and everything looked ok, until one of them took a wrong turn.

Why? Because scientists did not understand the universal nature of gravity.

We are so small. The inventor of gravity is so gracious to give me a sky to stand under, dumbfounded. He is so gracious to place me inside of the mystery of His universe. As He lets these little satellites travel His big creation, could it be showing us the magnitude of Him? Could it be showing the minuscule nature of me?

I believe that He revels in placing us inside the mysteries that no one can (look at marriage!). I need only to stand outside my dad’s house, looking up, to see the joy of His mystery.

I made the earth, and created humankind upon it; it was my hands that stretched out the heavens, and I commanded all their host. – Isaiah 45:12, NRSV

I am thrilled to be back in your company my friends. I will be catching up with you in the next few days.

P.S. I am posting from my new computer. It is a Mac, so I am working out kinks. I am seeing a lot of strange things, so just ignore them for now. Thanks.

Is there anything that I missed and just have to see? Leave me a comment and let me know.

It Was All In A Pause

Sometimes, I lose it in the pauses.

This is important because some of the better things in life happen in pauses.

I remember the pause right before my husband kissed me for the first time on the edge of the Grand Canyon.

Pauses in music are good. They allow us to catch our breath for the next line.

When I run, I like pauses. In fact, I prefer them to running on the less fantastic days.

There is nothing like the first pause in a crazy week. The one where you sit in a chair or on the bed and think, “Oh, just give me this moment”, as you breath out slowly.

We pause life when we sit with the Lord.

There is always a pause before someone blurts out that they are pregnant (no I am not).

Pauses are the temporary hold of the present in anticipation of a relentless future. They are brief. They are intentional.

When Jesus had come down from the mountain, great crowds followed him; and there was a leper who came to him and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, if you choose, you can make me clean.” (Matthew 8:1 & 2, NRSV)

Lord if you choose, you can make me clean.

Pause.

I hear this pause. This man aches from his disease, and his hands and feet are weak. His skin is inflamed. His is alone, but he wouldn’t be able to feel the soft touches of his family, anyway. His eyesight is failing him, and he is in danger of losing his fingers and toes.

And he says, Lord, if you choose, you can make me clean…and then he waits. This pause seems to last forever in my mind.

Sometimes, I lose it in the pauses. I fail to make it though that eternal second, waiting for the answers that I crave. I can’t imagine the other side of that second when a voice will complete all my needs, spoken and unspoken. The interior of a pause can bring the ache of a lifetime.

He stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I do choose. Be made clean!” Immediately his leprosy was cleansed (Matthew 8:3, NRSV).

Unlike my friend, I do not always hear God say, “I do choose”. I do not immediately see that I am free or clean. The landscape and the people sometimes look and act the same.

But, like my friend, I always have a moment. It is my pause. This moment hangs in time while Jesus stretches out His hand to me. He touches His daughter, His beloved. I know that whether He chooses or not isn’t important. It is the pause in His presence that matters.

I think this is on my mind because I still do not feel that the rush of the holidays is over. Are you still going at holiday speed? Do you need a pause?

I Wish Us A Strange New Year

There is something about New Year that spells change. It is a sign of hope that once a year we get a redo. Of course, it is an arbitrary marker, but it has power. This year, this New Year, what will we be? At this time next year, will we be all that we dreamed of, or will we be the same procrastinating, comfort loving, weight carrying individual that we were at this time last year?

I took to setting goals this year. I set many, many goals. They are all so amazing. I was looking at them this morning and I thought, “I would choose them all again”. I want to be that person. Let me give you one from each life category,

To improve my health, #4 was to find an exercise that my husband and I enjoy together. I think we hiked twice.

To increase intimacy in relationships, #4 was to have one couple over for dinner once a month. Now how hard is that, Miss Introvert?

To reduce temper outbreaks, #3 was no speaking in anger. It does still sound like a good goal.

To have varied spiritual input, #5 was to find an outside bible study to attend. I did that, once. I am excited to go back this year, though.

To increase the quality and effectiveness of the blog as a tool for God’s use, #2 was to get ahead, at least one day, on blogs by writing two, one day per week. That didn’t happen. I kind of just write as I go.

To be used more effectively, for my specific purpose in God’s work, #4 was to find a senior high devotional for my girls. I really need to do that. See, that is a great goal!

To intentionally meet the needs of others, #2 was to find a volunteer organization that interests me. I just blogged about that, so I have not found it yet, but it is coming.

To make my home a peaceful haven that expresses our family identity (I think that this one is one of the most important), #3 was to attend one marriage conference each year. Done! We made two.

So, as you can see, it is not for lack of ideas, although there may be too many. Believe it or not, there are more life categories. Instead, this year was shaped not by my desires but by divine appointment mixed with circumstance. It was crafted in such a way that I am different from when I started, but I could not have planned one day of the process.

I was reading in Luke where Jesus heals the paralytic (Luke 5:17-26). Imagine yourself a Pharisee in this scenario. A man has just been lowered through the roof and, “When he [Jesus] saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven you” (Luke 5:20, NRSV). That is pretty surprising, and the Pharisees thought so, too. They were not pleased with Jesus’ discussion with the party crasher.

But, of course, Jesus knew this. To which He said, “Which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Stand up and walk’? ²⁴ But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the one who was paralyzed—“I say to you, stand up and take your bed and go to your home” (Luke 5:23 & 24, NRSV). Imagine that scene. Watching this carpenter’s son forgive sins and heal a paralytic man, emphasis on the forgiving sins.

So, as you sit there with your mouth hanging open, watching Bobbie Raye stand up and walk out of the room, glorifying God and doing an awkward, atrophied, sinless dance, what do you feel? Amazement. We glorify God with this man. How can we not?

In response we say, “We have seen strange things today” (Luke 5:26b, NRSV). Without sounding disrespectful, what we believe is strange. Our sins are forgiven, isn’t that strange. Strange is the nature of our belief because it exists within the life and works of Christ. When I read scripture I see things that I just can’t explain. They are mysterious and wonderful. They are divine and strange.

I don’t really wish for you or me that we hit every goal this year. I still might not blog ahead of time because there are other things that I need to attend to besides social media, and some days there will be no post at all. Life is crafted as we go. I really understand this after 2009.

So, I wish for us a year of strange things, a year of amazement and glorifying the Father with the struggles and victories of our brothers and sisters. I wish for us, in 2010, a first row seat for the wondrous works of God in our lives, even if it involves party crashers. I pray that we are patient as He unravels His goals and His intent for our year. I pray that we prepare the way of the Lord into our lives, and make His path straight.

Have a wonderful and safe New Year’s Eve!

The Living Parables

parables, very short stories with a double meaning. In the biblical tradition, the terms translated from Hebrew, Aramaic, or Greek by the narrower term ‘parable’ should more accurately be translated by the wider term ‘metaphor.’ The basic distinction that the biblical tradition finds worthy of emphasis is that between literal and metaphorical language. – Harper’s Bible Dictionary

This morning I dropped my husband off at the mechanic’s shop. I sat on a street that, just a block or so down, was known for shootings, babies being shaken to death and massage parlors. I parked in the space closest to the sidewalk. I looked down at the sidewalk and saw a pentagram and the numbers 666 surrounding the name, Jason. How original.

I was reading Jeremiah.

Then I went to the vet to get Maggie checked out. She was seeping blood from a mass that had grown up almost overnight. I bathed her on Friday and I had not seen it. Then after my husband’s company party had been cleaned up, I saw blood on the bed. This morning, I did not beg God for courage but for patience as we waited 50 minutes for the doctor. Then the words…skin tumor.

The moment before those words and the moment after were the exact same for Maggie. I learn a lot from her. There is no reason to ask why.

The prodigal son tended swine. The workers who worked for one hour received the same pay as the rest. The widow gave a mite, and she was the most generous.

These juxtapositions are a part of who He is. He is the unexpected.

Our lives tell parables. They are the stories of those with the hope of salvation. If we are doing it right, then we don’t make sense in this world. We are the unusual, the unlikely, the double meaning.

I bet that you have them, too, the life that does not make sense against the backdrop, or the need to serve this dead carpenter because He set you free. These are the stories that we show to the lost world. Every day, I am made aware of how much the world needs Him. They need our life stories.

My thought from all of this: letting Jesus resolve the stories of our lives makes us a living parable.

Are you in the middle of a parable today?

Father, thank you for all the circumstances that make us more like you. Create in us the will to offer up the stories of our lives and let you finish them. Let our stories be a voice to the lost.

Giving Faith Legs

I have been thinking about faith. Is faith when we resign ourselves to the possibility of the object that we dwell on? Is it when this object becomes as real to us as the pencil in our hand, or the stove in our kitchen? What does faith look like?

Oswald Chambers gives some useful thoughts regarding faith. He asserts that the first physical step in a faith relationship must be ours. We have to move toward God.

God offers the object of faith, but we have to get out of the plush recliner to walk to the throne and pick it up. Faith is in the righting of the body, the folding up of our comfy foot holder, and the rocking forward to propel ourselves to standing. It is all of this and the natural gifting of bipeds that allows us to stand before the throne, walk to the bottom step and throw ourselves at the foot of grace.

As we remain in our recliners, the invisible is just that. It is an idea, a theory. It does not hold power, only possibility. Faith has to have legs. It needs a body to solicit its power and observe its indwelling. I guess it would be worth asking if we have gotten out of our recliner this morning. Sometimes, it takes a while.

I was reading Mark 1:29-31(NRSV), this morning,

As soon as they left the synagogue, they entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. ³⁰ Now Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told him about her at once. ³¹ He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up. Then the fever left her, and she began to serve them.

Simon Peter’s mother-in-law was sick, fever sick. When I am sick like that, just leave me alone. I want my wool blanket that I save for sick times, and quiet. Fevers are heat and chills, they are weakness and exhaustion. Simon Peter’s mother-in-law was really sick, and we do not have evidence that she knew Jesus. For all we know Peter just got home after becoming a disciple.

They tell Jesus about her, immediately.

Jesus goes to her bedside.

He takes her hand.

She, hot and cold, weak and tired, allows this stranger to lift her out of bed.

What were these moments for her? Could she make eye contact? Was it like one of those feverish dreams that make everything odd and extraordinary? She agreed and got up.

It was only in trusting the hand of this magnificent stranger, while at her worst, that she found relief. In fact, the fever left her after she was upright.

It is amazing what can happen when we stand up, when we force ourselves to stand before Jesus. He offers the object of faith, in the form of a hand, and then we stand to grasp it. There is a moment between these acts that turns us into faithful creatures. It is an unexpected spark that drives us to motion. That is when faith gets legs.

Then she served. That is the only thing that can happen when we get out of our plush recliners. The idea of Jesus becomes as real to us as the pencil in our hand, the stove in our kitchen. We take Him in and then we need to serve Him.

Faith, I think that is what it might look like…

Do you need to be reminded to get out of the recliner every once and a while? I sure do. Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts.

Father, thank you for giving us everything we need each day to be faithful to you. Teach us how to give legs to our faith. Tell us where to stand and how to serve you, today.

We Saw Screwtape!

We spent Halloween at the theater. Exciting, right?

Not only that, we were watching The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis. Now does it all make sense? I am not attached to Halloween, at all. I don’t dress up or spend the money on candy for strangers.

When the possibility came for twisting it into a relevant learning experience, I jumped.

Sometimes the best way to define something is to tell you what it is not. It is hard to tell you exactly what makes me happy, but I can tell you what makes me unhappy, easily. That is the experience of The Screwtape Letters. It does not tell you what Christ is, but it shows you what He is not. Seeing my Savior from the enemy’s camp lit a fire in my husband and me. We were hungry for this type of experience.

You know what stared me in the face through the whole performance? Distraction. I have succumbed to the advances of the enemy on this field.

Excerpt from a letter written by Screwtape, to Wormwood, concerning Wormwood’s human patient,

“Even if a particular train of thought can be twisted so as to end in our favour, you will find that you have been strengthening in your patient the fatal habit of attending to universal issues and withdrawing his attention from the stream of immediate sense experiences. Your business is to fix his attention on the stream. Teach him to call it ‘real life’ and don’t let him ask what he means by ‘real’.”

The stream of immediate sense experiences, isn’t that what we fight every day?

I read a verse this morning.

I think that it fits my struggle with the stream of immediate sense experiences.

I think that it illuminates this area of sin in God’s people.

Thus says the Lord concerning this people:

Truly they have loved to wander,

they have not restrained their feet; -Jeremiah 14:10a, NRSV

Do you struggle with fixating on the stream of immediate sense experiences?

I Was At The End of My Rope, Too

But if you will not listen,

my soul will weep in secret for your pride;

my eyes will weep bitterly and run down with tears,

because the Lord’s flock has been taken captive. – Jeremiah 13:17, NRSV

Sometimes, Christians make mistakes. Often, I do.

A friend of mine has been struggling under a situation for several years. I have been hurt over it, I have been angry about it, I have done the brain roll, I have cautioned her, I have listened to her, and I have prayed over her. The situation has not changed.

What do we do when people that we love are walking away from truth?

Years ago, I was engaged to a man, not my husband. I had walked away from the church and anything that I once believed hung by a thread. I had created a religious amalgam from all of my philosophical preferences. It could hardly be called spiritual, considering that it was all about me, although I would have claimed that I was spiritual.

The engagement was a mistake. It was blatantly disobedient to God’s word. In the middle of it, I rejected all wisdom. Apparently, I was so bold about it that friends and family did not question my behavior. No one said, “Hey, this isn’t the best for you”. No one.

I will be honest. In retrospect, I am most sad that no one acted on my behalf. I would like to think that people were weeping for my sin, desiring to intervene. I just don’t know that they were. How could anyone assume that I was actually happy in the middle of blatant sin? This has given me a heart for women in this position. God has sent many in my path. I find our stories similar.

The irony is that my sadness over my own situation has not changed my behavior toward my friend. I would like to say that I have wept for the sin of my friend frequently, but I have not. I would say that once or twice I have been that true of a friend.

For me, there was Paige, my Jeremiah. She actually worked for me. I still can weep from gratitude that she was sent into my life. In the midst of complete turmoil, she nudged me back. She never condemned me, but by watching her compassion and her own struggles, I was reintroduced to God’s character. She told me that she would pray for me. She was a drink of water in the barren desert.

I don’t know what she did in private, how she asked God to restore my life, but He did. Now, I am in this situation with my friend. I don’t want to hold the same assumptions that others held about me. I know, intimately, the sound of truth against a broken life. When I compared Paige’s words to my life, I could define my hopelessness. I know that heaven began preparations for my return in these moments.

For my friend I want peace, God’s love, happiness, a hope, and a future.

For Paige, I will give all the jewels in my crown and anything else she wants.

For myself, I want the heart of Jeremiah.

How do you react to a friend who is walking away from the truth?

Getting Left In the Dark

Oh, I can barely contain myself. I have been with my mentor for a couple of hours this morning, and, as usual, God showed up.

I have been writing about transition. That explains what my life feels like right now; it is about “the next”, whatever that is. Often, transition in our Christian walk feels like the lights go out.

I am in a season of intense times with God. I have been in it since April. My days are planned around quiet times, often hours. I love it, but I feel that my season is changing.

My transition has been affirmed through the last few weeks. I have found that in my quiet times with God, He has moved just a little. I am humbled and grateful that it has made me want to reach further for Him. Let me tell you why…

In the past, instead of reaching further, I have stopped reaching. I have coveted that presence in the emotional space where it once resided. I have made the mistake of turning this movement of God against myself in mourning. If He does not stay fixed, then it must be my fault. Often, I have tried to analyze what I had done wrong. What did I do to make Him go away? Where should I be repenting?

This is a lie. God loves us more than we can imagine, more than I can imagine. If He moves, it is for me to follow. I have found myself simply desperate to follow Him. All that He had to do was move a little.

I do try to look to God in all things. I look to Him for my very life, but He is now calling me to watch for Him. There is a difference in looking to, and watching for. One lifts my head and the other makes me scan the horizon with anticipation. I have determined this, when God is on the move He wants my attention.

Let me give you an example that helped me. If you put a baby in front of a stimulus that repeats, eventually the baby’s heart rate will slow. It grows accustomed to the stimulus. If you introduce a new stimulus to the baby, the heart rate goes up. Yes, I am the baby in this scenario.

When God wants my attention, what better way than to take a step back? It makes me want Him more. Last month I reached for Him, assured of where my hand would land; and, now, I need to reach out to the unchartered, trusting that He will guide my hand right into the palm of His own.

So, I will raise my hands, cry out “Abba, Father” to find a resting place for my soul. I will worship Him and thank Him for this new season. God is on the move and that is a reason to rejoice, no matter what happens.

Do not remember the former things,

or consider the things of old.

¹⁹ I am about to do a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

and rivers in the desert. – Isaiah 43:18 & 19, NRSV

I would love to hear what you think about times of transition. Have you ever stopped reaching, like me? Leave me a comment and let me know what is on your mind.

Thinking About Eve

I cannot blame Eve because I understand her in my own way.

When I was younger, I would have watched that tree in the garden, waiting for its fruit to drop. Not one for waiting on anything, it would serve only to ripen the fruit, to guarantee the sweetness of my decision. Instinctively, I would have caught the first offering in mid-flight, to enjoy the taste of consequence without any damage to the experience.

I can’t blame her.

She had Adam telling her, no, don’t look there, “We don’t do things like that”. A phrase I found empty and worthless to explain anything when I was young. Didn’t everyone understand that I did not want to be like them anyway?

When Adam stood beside her, He bit. I guess that we do, in fact, do things like that. I found that to be true from most of those who dared speak that phrase.

Eve, also, had God telling her to look at everything else that He had made for her. Look at Him, walking through the garden. Wasn’t that enough? Why wasn’t that enough?

I bear that rebellious nature. The majority of my life, I saw my actions without consequence, my rights guaranteed by my birth, and my belief that my choices were for my good. How could I harm myself? I understand Eve in my own way.

I did hurt myself. I did hurt others.

Your wickedness will punish you, and your apostasies will convict you. Know and see that it is evil and bitter for you to forsake the Lord your God; the fear of me is not in you, says the Lord God of hosts (Jeremiah 2:19, NRSV).

I am reading Jeremiah this week. The prophets always make me grateful that I have returned to God, and stopped watching the trees, day and night.

I returned when God overtook me, maybe while I was tree watching one day.

When He tells me, “No, this is not the best for you”, I find that, now, finally, my gaze can avert and I can realize that He is enough.

Are you, or have you been, a fellow tree watcher?

Thank you, My Father, for never letting me out of your hand. Put gratitude in my heart today as you gather those who love you. Give me the ability to divert my attention from the places that are not the best for me.