Opening Wells Where The Waters Are Deep

I am in the middle of a lesson. I do not know the outcome, but let’s just say that God has my ear.

I am in Jeremiah because I had this series of weird dreams and Jeremiah kept coming up. So, to Jeremiah I went. I won’t lie; I feel a bit like Indiana Jones seeking out answers. It is pretty thrilling.

This morning, I found this.

As a well keeps its water fresh,

so she keeps fresh her wickedness;

violence and destruction are heard within her;

sickness and wounds are ever before me. (Jeremiah 6:7, NRSV)

Getting past the obvious…this was intended for Israel, not me. I get that. The relevancy of the prophets always amazes me, though. So, I am honored to learn from the relationship of God and Israel.

The well keeps its water fresh. Innermost is the water of our well. It has its own sound, its own rhythm. It is the undercurrent of the words and actions of a people, or a person. Everyone has this audible quality. It is the sound of our hearts. This is what can be heard by our friends, neighbors, those around us. The sound within our heart comes from the water of our well.

I fear failure more than anything else in the world. The water of my well is kept fresh by staying one step away from ridicule, shame, rejection and trust. I actively bubble in the effort to maintain my safety.

If I wanted to sound pious, I would say that I keep my water fresh with the word of God. Well, that is true. The word is my lifeline from this well in my chest. I must hold tight because my well is fresh with my defenses and cautiousness. It is in need of a formidable foe.

My well tells me that I couldn’t bear to be vulnerable to this world.

So, what is heard within me? What is the audible quality that penetrates through my words and expressions? What does my heart sound like?

No, I am not emotionally available.

No, I cannot open my life to that right now.

I am not willing to serve you in that capacity.

I don’t want people too close to my well. No one wants to hear the fear of another. Isn’t there enough fear in the world, already? The further that you get from the well where the word of God and my most secret thoughts reside, the safer I am.

The most sophisticated manipulation of our undercurrent is what we are willing to lay bare to our Creator. What does all of this fear and bubbling look like in front of God? Israel brought sickness and wounds; the exterior manifestation of an inward problem.

I can go for a long time without acknowledging the undercurrents of my life, even to myself. Occasionally, they will rise to the surface looking like momentary depression or a desire to hide away. Sometimes they will look like envy of those who seem to have no duplicitous waters running deep in their wells. At these times, I ask God to forgive me for my emotional state. We don’t talk about my fear. We don’t talk about my exhaustion from staying one step ahead of failure.

This is an old human pattern, to an old human problem.

Everyone has sin from the inside out. Everyone hates their sin from the inside out. This verse has challenged me to open up the well in my chest and lay it bare before the Lord of hosts, my Father.

I am sure that there are some of you who desperately want to be refreshed, but the task is daunting. Take heart. This is a God who did not forsake His people, but claimed them once and for all with the death of His son. His heart is so gentle and desires to beat with ours. He wants to be the voice heard within us, and the source of our fresh water.

Anyone want to go on this well-opening journey with me?

What is keeping your water fresh?

Father, thank you for calling us to genuine relationship. Lead us to freedom from all of the undercurrents of our lives. Bring us to know you as the sound of our hearts.

Genuinely Fighting

I remember when my husband and I just got married, all those three years ago. I am not sure what we thought marriage would be like, but it was not. We have come to the consensus that it is better than we anticipated, yet, kind of like you thought you were joining the volleyball team and ending up in aquatic dancing. We could not have conceived of it, but love the water.

This is one of our pictures...aaahhhh!

That first year was marked with what we now consider a string of unnecessary battles. I have to giggle as I write this, as can everyone remembering their first year of marriage, I am sure.

My husband is an early riser, although we have kind of averaged it out now so that we both get up around 6:15. I was in grad school when we got married and so I stuck to no particular schedule. This meant that every morning, when he got up, he would make coffee and feed the dogs.

One day he told me the truth about how that made him feel. He did not want to always be the guy on dog duty first thing in the morning. We had four dogs at the time, so I can see his point. It would, also, be nice to see his wife over a cup of coffee, occasionally, instead of complaining about her miniscule share. To say the least, I was not interested in a discussion involving movement of my sleeping patterns.

So, I basically told him to deal with it. What a sweet girl, I was! I was ready to go toe-to-toe when my husband had put a perfect opportunity for servitude right in front of me. Now I see those as little love nuggets, they are the “gimmes” that speak to his heart. He drops them along the path, and I am considered above all wives when I swoop in and pick them up. At this point in my newlywed life, though, I still needed a translator.

Now we actually laugh at the fact that we would bother to argue over dog food and coffee, but at the time it felt really important. Don’t most of our battles feel really important in the moment?

My response to the situation in our home was not about waking up early or late, though. It was about my heart.

I did not really come to understand this until last year, although I had said it before then. The most obvious evidence of where I am spiritually is how I deal with relationships in my home. The interaction of home life is the litmus test of our heart. It tells us if our faith is genuine, if it permeates our flesh.

1 Corinthians 11:19, “Indeed, there have to be factions among you, for only so will it become clear who among you are genuine.”

It is interesting that factions are independent of peacemakers. Being a peacemaker does not mean that you will not experience discord or factions. One of the greatest points of growth in a home comes from disagreement. A peacemaker focuses on what to do with this disagreement? How should it play out?

Some people will say that the home is the place where they see all of your lumps and bumps, and you don’t have to pretend to be good there. Absolutely, but I have found that I can’t excuse my relational laziness to my poor family because they have the curse of proximity. My husband does not deserve my apathy in return for his needs. I was the one who had to change.

Proverbs tells us that the home is the place to learn wisdom. It is the place to try on the Fruits while in disagreement, because it is safe. When these things are planted at home, we can handle the factions in the world or in the church because we have practiced. God has trained us up. Our hearts are trustworthy because they remember what to do.

Some of the most wonderful times in my marriage have come from sitting with my husband in the early morning, talking and praying over a hot cup of coffee. I can’t imagine not having that time with him. So, it is easy for me to say now, “You were right, babe!”

How do you handle factions in your homes? Any tips?

Father, thank you for allowing factions that bring us near to your Spirit. Bring us before you when we face these challenges, and train us how to disagree in a way that honors you.

Am I Intentionally Exclusive?

I have worked with high school girls for the last couple of years. It was something that I promised would not happen in my lifetime, so it was bound to fall in my plate. I have found that as my immediate relevancy has grown with them, my cultural relevancy has fallen away.

Let me explain, when high school girls want you, they tend to want you now. As my life experience with them has grown, I understand that they are an immediate culture, living moment to moment, text to text. I am relevant to them in an immediate sort of way. I have no problem with that as long as it immediately stops at about 8:30pm.

The closer that I get to them and our lives intertwine, I realize that I am no longer aware of anything popular. It happened without my knowledge and I have very little emotional investment in this loss. They make me aware that I understand about 45% of all things that they talk about. So, my cultural relevance is completely gone, placing me in the best of over thirty communities, those who are no longer cool and no longer care.

The unintentional exclusion of these high school girls is fine with me because they are not telling me that I should be something that I am not. They are not assigning a value to themselves or me; their life experience is just completely different.

There are, however, lots of people in the world who are living exclusively, intentionally. They do so publically, for the intent purpose of assigning a value to themselves and me. Have you turned on the TV lately?

Celebrities, although not all of them, have the tendency to appear exclusive. They participate in campaigns intended to make you feel as though you are not complete, or beautiful, or thin, or cool enough. Their purpose is to alter the way that you think about yourself, and then alter your behavior to coincide with their choices.

We have all fallen for it at one time or another. When I was 18, I went to a cosmetic counter and a woman told me that I had to start using eye cream now or else I would look horrible in 15 years. There was the celebrity right there in the picture applying this eye cream and she looked perfect. So, of course, I did it. I have been using eye cream for 16 years, and I can say that I look exactly the same as other 34 year old women, and not any better.

People are constantly trying to gain influence with us. They will do it by buttering us up with compliments, or fear. How many times has someone flattered you into buying something that you hated when you got home?

Influence is a great thing, when the object is to accomplish good things. Mentoring is a wonderful way to influence others. My life has been changed because of my mentor for the better. BUT…influence can also be used to flatter you into an adult version of a pink polka-dot too too. Not good, my friends.

Paul talks about influence in Galatians. There are people that have come into the church and attempted to influence the gospel that Paul taught. They are emphasizing areas that take away from faith in Jesus, as the ONLY WAY to salvation. Pretty cut and dried in Paul’s eyes.

Galatians 4:17, “They make much of you, but for no good purpose; they want to exclude you, so that you may make much of them”.

I started thinking about all of the ways that people do this. I was sitting next to a woman during Sunday School that said churches are excluding people through fear. I needed to think through this idea of church exclusion, because if this is true, Paul has already given us his thoughts on the matter.

What do we tell people who come to our churches on Sunday? Do we encourage the idea that we are an extraordinary homogenous unit that necessitates assimilation in order to get the whole experience of Jesus?

In our efforts to point people to Christ, do we point them to ‘our experience with Christ’, instead of Him?

When people finally look like they are ‘on board with our vision’, isn’t it easier to serve with them, rather than find new ways for everyone?

I know, it is mind-full, and you may have just been looking for an encouraging word, but, we are the hands and feet of Jesus. If we are sucking people into our churches in the hope that they will eventually end up looking like us that is an issue worth thought.

Why, you may ask?

Paul encouraged the church to recognize areas of exclusion in order to protect the gospel. The gospel of Paul, revealed to him by Jesus, is not an exclusive one. We have to make sure that our recruiting efforts never dilute Jesus by making much of our ministry. In the end we stand on the Gospel. We stand on the life of Christ.

Have you experienced this kind of exclusion in the church, or in online ministry?

Father, thank you for letting Paul pave the way for so many situations in the church. Show us where we are exclusive and open up the door for diverse ministry, in its place. Use us powerfully today for your Gospel.

You Are a Perfect Measure

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. ⁴ For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, ⁵ so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. ⁶ We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ⁷ ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; ⁸ the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness (Romans 12:3-8, NRSV).

I have read so many posts this week on finding your unique passion in ministry. Mostly they are about being your unique self in the blog world, at Tara’s View of the World, or Chatting at the Sky. There are some great things to think about when defining ministry.

I read this verse this morning and thought about it in light of our various talents in the community of non-virtual, Christian women.

I have strived to be many things in my life. I can be a great modeler. I can take on qualities of other people. So, if I see something spectacular, I want to be that…spectacular. What does that mean if there is more than one modeler in our churches? Not good, ladies, not good. From experience, we all fall.

We have a body of women right around us that look, smell, and talk differently. God tells me that each of our measures is equal in value when our purpose is lived out. That is right, when the purpose is lived out.

Let’s test the way that you use your measure. Let’s say that we are a quarter cup of sugar perfectly poured into a measuring cup, which is exactly what the recipe calls for. You can leave it in the cup, making the cake unsweet. We, as women, know that’s a bust, right? Or, we can pour our perfect quarter cup into the mix, with the other perfectly measured ingredients…result, perfect girl’s night.

The other approach would be tasting other confectionary goodies, and desiring to pour more sugar into the cake than it calls for, or less. Either leaves you with a less than perfect cake. What about those who are saving part of their sugar for another cake? This analogy could get confusing, but you get the idea.

I know a woman who can bring you a meal and clean your house in no time. She will talk to you and give wisdom. She is simply a pleasure. She told me the other day that sometimes she just feels like a housewife. What? My domestically perfect little friend? Honestly, I felt so great that someone like her can feel, well, like me…one of many. But when you put us together…we can do a whole event.

What I sometimes fail to see is that my sugar, my measure, is unique but not irreplaceable. Our thought should be for the value of the community cake, not the uniqueness of the measure. If everyone poured in their measure, we would rock! Instead, some do not feel empowered, some do not feel gifted, some do not feel adequate, and some just don’t want to bother. Some need to build relationship in Christ, first.

When we look at ourselves against the body, not spectacular individuals, we start to look more pertinent. We are intended for holistic community, in a framework. When one person is taken out of their context, they are no longer as effective.

I am struggling to evaluate this, too. How much is my exact measure and what do I do with it?

Only in a one-on-one relationship can we even ask those questions of Jesus. He places us in His community, which is where the spectacular can happen.

All of God’s people have dynamo acts to perform for Him. They could be to the children on your block, or children filling an arena. I often feel less than dynamo, but that is when I am told to sit in front of Jesus with sober judgment. I am listening with my heart to hear His direction. That is when I have to ask Him, “Am I using your measure to its potential?” Then I have to be willing to hear the answer.

How are you using your measure? I really want to know. Have you started pouring it?

Father, thank you for our measure. Show us how to use it to its potential, today. Make us stewards of your gifts and your community.

Parenting Heart First

I could be extremely unpopular after this, but here goes…this morning I was reading through the first couple of chapters in Luke. Women connecting with the gospel can begin here. Luke brings the stories of women out. It is refreshing to read. In that small space you have young women betrothed, mature women barren, and young mother. All have such an interesting portrayal of the heart of a woman.

In the story of Elizabeth, Luke 1:16 & 17 tell us what John the Baptist will do before he is even born, “He will turn many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. ¹⁷ With the spirit and power of Elijah he will go before him, to turn the hearts of parents to their children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” So, John’s job is to turn many of the people of Israel to God and throughout the gospels, this becomes pretty evident. He will also turn the disobedient to the WISDOM of righteousness. Wisdom and righteousness are linked, inseparably, but that is a blog in itself. There is one more, however.

With all of this turning hearts in preparation for the Lord, John is going to turn the hearts of parents to their children. All of John’s “life tasks” reflect the brokenness that exists in relationship. Here the relationships inside the home are exposed. I see the disobedient and have been the disobedient, and I have turned away from the preparation for the Lord, which was the last thing on my mind. So, today I feel led to talk about something with which I have no experience. Let’s speak specifically of parent’s hearts turned away from their children. As someone who does not have kids, I will be the first to admit that I have no authority in these matters…but, from the outside it sure looks like this to me.

Side note from a married without children: One of my favorite actors was being interviewed and when asked how his children were, he said, “They are average; not to fast, not to slow, not annoyingly smart, not dumb”. I applaud this mentality because there are too many “yes people” in our world. Normal children are great and most kids are normal. I can’t tell you all of the people that try to tell me that their children are really smart, or well behaved. It is as, though, they assume that without children, I have no power of discernment. If you have to tell someone that your kids’ are smart, they might not be…and if you have to tell someone that they are well behaved, they are not. I have dogs that are neither overly smart, nor well-behaved. I am too lazy to take them to doggie school and I want someone to be uncontrollably happy to see me when I get home, so I have pursued neither and now they are too old. I digress.

So, I can’t imagine the overwhelming nature of parenting. I can’t imagine having someone who talks to himself/herself around me all the time. I can’t imagine never getting ready in one shot again. I can’t imagine anyone ever attempting to wake me up in the middle of the night…that might be the worst one. So, there are lots of things that I can't understand, but I can observe…oh, and I can read, in fact it is the same parenting manual that you are using.

In order to survive parenting, I have observed that sometimes it is easier to turn your heart away than carry it into battle, even the friendly ones. These battles can be about cereal or toys, new shirts or curfews. Parenting, as in every other aspect of the kingdom relationship, requires that hearts are present and active. A heart that is turned away cannot be prepared for Jesus, and it certainly can’t be prepared for children. This type of heart turning seems harmless, just a little bit of protection or solace for a parent, but kids know when the emotional shoulder has turned. They know before you do. There are so many areas of life that would be easier if we could just spare our hearts a little. The problem comes when you look at scripture. I see no where that tells the believer to pull their heart out of the fight.

Later, in Luke, we can see that it wasn’t easy for Mary, either. That’s right, the mother of our Lord. Most of you have never had the promise of greatness for your child from an angel. That had to play in her mind every day. So, she might have had some expectations of the best kid ever. Remember when Jesus was lost in Jerusalem during the festival of Passover? They traveled one day and realized he was gone, so they came back to Jerusalem and looked for Jesus. He was gone four days. Jerusalem was a big and bustling place. The time of Passover would significantly increase the population of Jerusalem. Mary must have been freaking out. It took at least two days of being in the city to even find Jesus. Seriously, that is an amber alert.

So, loving mother finally finds her kid at the temple. Pleased or not, she has been looking for four days. Luke says, “When his parents saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, “Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety.” Translation, “What do you think you are doing? Your dad and I have been worried sick.” I would expect some gratitude, some hugginess…something. Jesus just looks at Mary and says, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house? (Luke 2:49)” I just love it. Mom, why are you freaking out? Where did you think I was gonna’ be? Beautiful, and very like Jesus.

No one has it easy…and then Mary watched her son go to Calvary. There is no time to save our hearts in this life. They are of no value turned away from anyone, and the damage that occurs when children cannot get a straight line of sight into your heart is devastating.

How did Mary deal with this? She treasured all these things in her heart. I am amazed at that. I can’t think of many parents that would not have lost their minds in this situation. The first time that she treasured these things in her heart was when the shepherds came to Jesus’ birth. They were going crazy, praising God with what they had seen and heard, and Mary just treasured. Now, after her son just “back-talked” her on the steps of the temple, she did it again. Her heart was fully invested and soft, willing to be in relationship. She did not turn away.

We have to position ourselves in this life. We have to set a course for our hearts understanding that they are already in the right hands, and safe to point our heart toward our children, our mate, and our friends. Every relationship is to refine us, to sanctify us, to get us to rely on Jesus just a little more, especially that of a mother. Let’s rely on Jesus to take care of our hearts so that we can care for the hearts of others.

Father, thank you for the gift of children. Thank you for the stories of these amazing women that taught us how to treasure moments of relationship in this life. Teach us to put our hearts back in these key relationships so that we are prepared for you.

Late Bloomers Unite

What good news I have found today.  If you are a late bloomer, never fear.  You have hope.  I am definitely not talking about anyone’s developmental status, but spiritually you are on the upside.  I was slow to commit to this faith thing.  Looking back, my spiritual life has been like a collection of scrapbooks done by different people, 25 years of them as a Christian.  I definitely look different in all of them; I was, at times, a victim of trends.  My spiritual life fell victim to trends and influences.  Some of my worst moments came in rebellion to my parents’ faith.  I wish that someone had the courage to walk up to me and say…“So, you are basing your entire belief system on not believing anything that anyone of any authority believes…how grown up of you.”  I am sure that I would have been very offended, but perhaps I would have stopped being a spiritual teenager for a second, and considered that there are precepts of the faith that are true no matter who believes them, even my parents.  I have discovered, however, that I have the same haircut at 34 that I had at 5.  This is the only continuity that one might find in the scrapbooks of my life. 

My devotionals have looked like an array of trial and errors, many errors.  I study the way that makes me happy now, AND, I get so much more out of it.  I got a new bible this year and I have this massive set of colored pencils.  I underline, make boxes and write notes.  You can tell the areas that I have visited, and not.  I am actually ashamed of the blank pages.  When I am in church and we are visiting one of “those”, I just look at my husband’s bible.  I don’t want anyone to know that my new bible has not been completely broken in and covered in color, pharisaical isn’t it?  Anyone who cannot dirty up the pages of a book would cringe.  I totally love it!

So, I was reading the parable of the two sons.  For your viewing pleasure…

Matthew 21:28-32, “What do you think? A man had two sons; he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ ²⁹ He answered, ‘I will not’; but later he changed his mind and went. ³⁰ The father went to the second and said the same; and he answered, ‘I go, sir’; but he did not go. ³¹ Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you. ³² For John came to you in the way of righteousness and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him; and even after you saw it, you did not change your minds and believe him.

This is an example of two spiritual teenagers.  Both invited to the same task, both typical teenagers…one says “No”, and probably means it.  He is being honest, so you have to respect that.  The other says, “Yes”, and does not mean it…maybe didn’t intend to lie, but it ends up that way.  All is the same, typical teenage stuff. 

So, let’s look at the “Yes”, kid.  Jesus is saying to the chief priests and elders that they are like a lying teenager.  They are never going to make it saying all of the right things and following all of the right rules.  There is no substance to it.  They can’t believe that what they are anticipating, the realization of the Messiah could be true.  What they have been waiting for is standing in front of them, the Savior of the world, but they don’t have the faith to claim it, to incorporate it.  We know these people.  Some can quote the bible to you, front to back, but they have no depth.  You look for fruit, but instead you find another defensive verse or phrase.  Some break your heart because they desire the Savior.  They need the freedom of a Savior, but they can’t let go of their past long enough to take His hand.  You have to empty those hands to grab on to Jesus, right? 

Finally, the other teenager that just says, “No”, but changes his mind…Oooo, the spiritual child takes his faith into his own hands.  Now that is exciting.  The reason for faith or anti-faith is no longer adherence to rebellion or anything else on this earth.  It belongs to him.  He can touch it, taste it, and grow it.  It is completely his own.  This person might be a late-bloomer.  Late-bloomers have scars, bumps, bruises.  We might look a little awkward, like scrappers, but we love the Lord, with all of our hearts.  I think that it is because…with us, he bothered.  He bothered to continually go and find that one that got away.  He bothered to weep tears for our self-inflicted pain.  He bothered to comfort us, even though He knew that this time would be no different and we would walk back into the world and do it all again.

But then, there was that one time.  Remember it?  It changed everything.  He came and sought me out.  He found me crying on the bathroom floor, without a hope in the world.  He picked me up and said, “Jump”.  He took me to the edge of the cliff and told me to leave everything that I held on to behind me, and just jump.  It was the best day of my life, scariest but best.  Even after that, many scrapbooks have been glued together.

When looking into the lives of the yes or no teenagers, I look for the Spirit at work in people’s lives.  I absolutely love a good Jesus story.  I love to tell my own.  There is something recognizable in that encounter, right?  The Spirit isn’t flat.  Some of us were raised under “the flat”; it is a hard burden to bear.  The “No” kids are no longer flat.

The “Yes” kids, even though they have no interest in an authentic relationship with Jesus, would be offended by the tax collectors and the prostitutes.  They are opposed to the possibility of hanging out with the rowdy crowd, the infidels.  The “No” kids realize that sin is sin.  We are not too proud to admit that we have been there, and need a Savior.  We are willing to take our fellow sinners with us on the narrow road.  So, go on you late bloomers.  You are the children of a holy God. 

Father, thank you for your infinite compassion.  Thank you for letting us change our minds when we are finally captured by your mercy.  Lead us faithfully down the narrow road and show us who you are in new ways. 

Doing vs. Being

Proverbs 31 woman…enough said. Some of you have a condition called, “burning flesh” right now. Some of you have developed eye trouble and can no longer see the words on this screen. I love her but I am not sure that we could be really good friends. She is the kind of woman that always looks the part. She is making it in the world and in her home. She could walk out into the street and ask 15 neighbors in for a spontaneous feast, and it would be perfect, including place cards and three courses. She makes me jealous. Argh! So, the senior high girls and I have been looking at this woman. She is capable, trusted, she does her husband good, she works hard, brings food to her home, she is up at night if she needs to be, she furthers her families financial interests, she is strong, she is fully able to supply the needs of her family, she is generous, she is prepared, she plays her role in the honoring of her husband, she is dignified and not afraid, she is wise and kind, she is not idle (this does not mean busy), her children get out of bed calling her happy and her husband praises her… It is a tall order, however, I know many of my friends who do, or are willing to do, any of these things for their families; just not all at once. One thing to point out is that she is not doing all of these every day. She is doing them over a lifetime. The actions of Proverbs 31:10-28, should not scare us. She does what she has to do, don’t you? Are you willing? She does have something else, though. I noticed that this laundry list of attributes is lacking something. To be a Christian woman today, you are supposed to attend the women’s suppers and bring a dish, be enrolled in 5 bible studies, show up looking perfect on Sunday morning, read out of your 15 devotional books, and…be up on all of the TV evangelists. Now, you are supposed to read your friend’s blog…it is endless. Today, I am giving you permission to make your life a lot easier. I see none of that in Proverbs 31, or anywhere in God’s word. Don’t get me wrong, I see a faithful woman. It says that her husband trusts her, she is generous to the poor and needy, she is not afraid, she is wise and kind, she is happy and her husband brags about her all around town. That tells me that there is a stillness that is coming from inside of her and infecting all of those around her. She is doing it right. She lives from the inside out. My desire has been to find the lost manuscript that tells me of her “being” relationship. What is she when she is still with God? What does her heart say to God through the day as she takes on each new adventure? That is the “being” relationship with the Lord. (A note on "being" relationships: you have to know with whom you are in a relationship; that is the role of scripture and prayer.) This is a glimpse of a woman from the eyes of a son. I don’t have children, but would you write this about your mom? If you would, call her, thank her and ask her about her “being” relationship. Would your children write it about you? It is from this “being” relationship with the Lord that good things come. The Spirit gives us the power to have this fruit in our lives. It wars with our flesh, our sin nature, being the very power of God inside of us. We have this power in our lives…that stuns me as I think of what is available and untapped. I have the power to be kind and generous and loving. I have the power to bless those around me and care for their needs. Wait, yes, I also have the power to be wise and not afraid…to be peaceful. You and I can be known as happy, because when someone asks us how our day is, we will be able to tell them of our “being” life; we are fine, we are content, and we are strong. We can be dignified and say that we have everything that we need to face the trials of this life. We tell our troubles to women who will lift us up, hold us accountable and point us back to the cross. That is part of this “being” relationship. My temptation has been to live in the “doing” because that is where things happen. How will anyone call you productive if you don’t prove it? This goes hand-in-hand with the twenty minute response for, “How are you”? These lives are always busier and always harder than anyone else’s life. I was challenged at a conference this weekend to take charge of the “doings” in my life. See, when we you commit to something, you absorb it into your world. It shares a place with other priorities in your life (see Donna Otto’s stuff…amazing). Some of these things should not be let in your front door. You are not meant to “own” those things. If I ask you right now, what is the one thing that you are doing that you should not be doing? This thing usually robs the other true priorities of your life (family, friendships, your “being” relationship with Christ, and you…fyi, you are a priority in your life, whether or not you act like it). It robs peace from your life, and probably someone else could do it…ouch. I know that is a radical notion, but someone else could do it…and if they did it better, hallelujah. Want to be really bold? Ask your husband or your children, maybe your friends what you should drop. Actually, that is great advice; I will have to ask my husband that question. Lord, show me today how to “be” with you. Show me areas in my life that are unnecessary; those that rob the real priorities of my life. Create in me the willingness to move away from “doing” and into authentic relationship with you.