A Great Weekend In Review

Invigorating and tiring. That is how I would explain this weekend. I had so much fun with the girls. As we get older, simply being a girl can become a rare opportunity. Responsibilities take over and 'girl time' becomes a privilege. We should giggle and talk about frizzy hair. I am happy to say that I had my dose of it, in its most unadulterated form for two days.

When the high school girls come to my house for these mini-retreats (as Lauren called it in her comment on Friday, loved that), we are simply girls. I might get more out of it than they do. We followed our schedule pretty closely. I don't have pictures of every single thing, but I will give you some highlights.

We went to the tea...

Our hostess (the woman standing in the white pants), who serves on our women's committee with me, spoke about individual expression in our homes. She is a phenomenal interior designer and faithful woman. I am excited to make some of the changes she suggested. More to come on that.

The tea was a great time to be a girl with some of my favorite girls...

The woman standing in this picture (she doesn't have her heels on so look right above everyone's head) is one of my favorites, her name is Elizabeth. She just started blogging over at Caffeinated Grace. Drop in and say hello, if you have a moment. BTW, she is hysterical and her posts show it.

Speaking of girls, here is one of my senior high girls...

They also had a blast sitting in my husband's car and playing with the IPad...

We went to the Rock and Worship Roadshow, and all that I can say is, "Wow!". We worshiped the King until we had no voices left and our feet were sore. What an awesome experience to worship with thousands of other believers. The name of Jesus was lifted up on Saturday night. I am still on a cloud. I Facebooked pictures from the concert, taken with my camera phone. You can basically tell that I was somewhere with bright lights. If you haven't done so already, friend me on Facebook and you can see them.

But before we got in, we waited...

My husband is on the left, his friend who visited us this weekend is in the middle (his wife, Amy, blogs over at Evidence of Creativity...amazingly gifted!), and our youth pastor is on the right. Again, to the one on the left...nice, right? I know. I just love that guy! He has had so much fun with his friend this weekend. They have seen a car show, played Wii, eaten, laughed at things I don't understand; AND, since he was in town, my husband stayed at his hotel so the girls and I could have the house all to ourselves. Nice!

All and all, it was a great weekend.

Rules, For My Sake

Tuesday is the night that I meet with the senior high girls. Sometimes, it is difficult to tell them just how different we are called to be. Different is not easy, especially in high school.

Mark 2:27 brings up a topic that most people redefine in this culture. It is not easy. It is different. It is the Sabbath.

Then he said to them, “The sabbath was made for humankind, and not humankind for the sabbath; so the Son of Man is lord even of the sabbath.” – Mark 2:27 & 28, NRSV

Thinking back, I can remember the immediacy of my teenage years. I can remember attending church and wondering how all of the “should nots” would actually look if they were thrown into a bag, whipped around a few times, and expelled into something resembling a life. It is impossible to dream up even now, really.

After thinking a little on this, I propose the trick is to demonstrate that the rules did not come first.

We were not crafted for a life of fitting the mold.

Church is not manicuring us for the law of similarity.

Humans did not come to be against the backdrop of the great book of rules.

And, the Sabbath is not an infringement on our week to make us less potent.

The Sabbath is no traditional rule. Instead, this verse told me that the Sabbath was made for me, entrusted to me. I was not created for the Sabbath, which perhaps exposes my difficulty of compliance with this day. Simply, there are rules that are created with us in mind. God gave this day to us, for our sake. This is the nature of God’s rules.

Coming back to the senior high, they might say, “Well, then I would rather not, if it is for my sake; but, thank you.” Lots of adults model this every week. I don’t see why they should think differently.

Then I remember a verse concerning what God does for His sake,

I, I am He

who blots out your transgressions for my own sake,

and I will not remember your sins. – Isaiah 43:25, NRSV

I have looked at this verse a hundred ways, and still the best reading is its face value. For some reason, my sins are forgiven for His sake, not for mine. They are forgiven to accomplish His purpose in the world, in humanity. I am free, for His sake, and with this freedom I can have relationship with the Father. I can enjoy Him. All of this, for His sake.

So, for His sake He gives me the hope of salvation and the gift of eternal life, and, for our sake He makes a Sabbath. For our sake, He makes rules for us; not rules with the end of governing but rules with the end of freedom. Today I will explain this, in different words to my girls. I will tell them that different is not easy, but it ends in freedom and peace.

Do you have a great way to explain being “different”? Leave me a comment and tell me what you think about it.

Father, thank you for acting in ways that allow us to see who you are. Thank you for making rules for us that act on our behalf. Most of all, thank you for freeing us for your sake. Although this seems an impossibility, we rest in freedom and peace that you offer.

I Am A Woman of Faith!

Indeed, I attended the Women of Faith weekend. It was, well, dessert-drippy good, ya’ll.

I want to show you some of the people that I was fortunate enough to have by my side. I just love ‘em.

This was my girls mimicking the statue behind them,

in the hotel lobby. You can't take them anywhere.

(Laurie, Patty, Meredith, and Melanie)

Patty (our church secretary) and Meredith (elder's wife) are way to shy.

I said "Give me pouty". I don't know what this is.

So, Tiffany and Laurie (my roommate) pouting with claws?

Now this is a pout, Sarah.

Picture it on smaller heads (one red-headed) and you have her kids.

If it were not against the law, I would eat Patty and Melanie with a spoon.

Love them!

The youngest of our crew...again with the claw thing. Nice Tiffany.

She is sending me a group shot that I will put up, soon.

I learned from Patsy Clairmont that these women are my fireflies.

Dr. Henry Cloud told me that they are the ones that hold my No Fly Zone (no condemnation allowed in that space).

Sheila Walsh assured me that there are times that I am going to need these ladies in my life.

Lisa Welchel (Blair from The Facts of Life) showed me that my distance from them is a heart issue that needs to be fixed.

You know why I have trouble connecting…judgment. I am a harsh judge, attempting to protect myself from the failure of others, or more importantly, protect myself from public failure. As you can see, I learned a lot and I have a lot to work on.

Jesus was so gentle with me. He simply spoke the words, “I hold nothing against you. I never look at your failures. I don’t remember your past.”

I will be changing my heart toward my fireflies.

And, this is just my story. It seemed that everyone had one. I can’t wait to hear them all. Please drop me a note if you feel comfortable. Even if you did not go to the conference, but you find yourself in my discovery, let me know.

You Will Become Someone

One of the lessons that we are teaching the youth right now is life purpose. I keep telling the girls, “You will become someone, so you might as well have a say in it”.

The wonderful thing about being young is the constant present tense. This is, also, what sends their mothers to the aspirin bottle. Without the benefit of a long past, how can one foresee a long future? They are learning to gaze at an ambiguous trail before them.

We went over Psalm 139, again, yesterday morning.

For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth (Psalm 139:13:16, NRSV).

Can you imagine what an act of love it must be to take something in your image, crafted by your hand, and see him, or her, through to the end that you desire for them? Wouldn’t you want to give that creation the best purpose imaginable? It sounds similar to what parents want for their children, minus the creator part.

It makes me desire His will in every moment. If only I were that perfect!

As adults, we move from the constant present tense to memories of a painful and joyful past. We, stubbornly, start to think of our future. We make plans and we consider the “what ifs”.

Somehow, in our broken human minds, the future becomes our present. It is, as though, the present continued moving forward one second during each event in our lives. We no longer worry about the real present but the future present; it makes my brain hurt.

As the present shifts, our life experience makes us question control. We can admit our lack of it, but we relegate it to the winds of chance. We fail to carry it to the throne of God to sacrifice it. In this sacrifice, we acknowledge sovereignty of the one true King over every moment of our lives.

The lesson of life purpose, at its best, goes hand-in-hand with this sacrifice. It requires that we ask questions of ourselves. Do I believe that God is sovereign? Do I believe that God, who carefully crafted us, also has a unique, attainable purpose for us?

Wait, let me answer it for you; I know that He has a life purpose for you.

On my trek through Revelation, I ran across this verse.

For God has put it into their hearts to carry out his purpose by agreeing to give their kingdom to the beast, until the words of God will be fulfilled (Revelation 17:17, NRSV).

Even to those who will never choose to know God, those who will curse Him and never repent, He is still sovereign. He is sovereign whether we give Him that honor in our lives, or not. He reigns regardless of our formal acknowledgments.

I encourage you, today, because we serve a God who is sovereign. He made us wonderfully. We fall under His loving control. As His, we wait for His words to be fulfilled in our lives and in the course of the world. What an honor to belong to Him! What an honor to have a life purpose in Him!

Do you feel that you have a life purpose? Let me know what this looks like right now in your life. You are reading part of mine.

Father, thank you for not leaving us to chance but, instead, being fully Yourself. You are the Creator, the loving Father and we desire your will in our lives. Shape us into our purpose and enlighten us to claim your victory in our lives.

A Spiritual Shipwreck

I am giving you these instructions, Timothy, my child, in accordance with the prophecies made earlier about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, having faith and a good conscience. By rejecting conscience, certain persons have suffered shipwreck in the faith...” (1 Timothy 1:18 & 19, NRSV).

A shipwreck in the faith…been there and have a closet full of t-shirts to prove it. These are not my proud moments; and, unfortunately, they could be a segment from my 15 minutes of fame. These are the memorable few because they were equivalent to a spiritual shipwreck…not a car accident, but a monumental shipwreck.

I can see myself in these verses. What Paul is warning Timothy against, is a road that I have walked. There is a pattern to it, and it begins with the intrinsic. What were you made for?

Paul is telling Timothy all of this so that he will stay on course. Paul would not have lasted a moment without commitment to his course. He was beaten, literally shipwrecked, stoned, and the list goes on. He knew his passion, his purpose, that for which he was made. Timothy knows this, too. Do you?

I have noticed that we might not know where we will end up in this Christian life but we know that God made us for something. We see it in our passions.

I heard a talk, once, by Bill Hybels. He said that everyone has a ministry (yes, you do). Ask yourself what really makes you passionate. When the topic is brought up, you come alive. Maybe it is even just something that you find yourself praying for more than others. You have one, just as Timothy was meant to spread the gospel. Don’t think of what you can do, think of what God wants you to do, passionately.

When you find this passion, this anointed purpose, sometimes you have to fight for it.

This phrase, “fight the good fight”, is serious business. Awkwardly, it could be said, “wage the good warfare”. Warfare is not choice. Warfare is being aware that there is a very real enemy who is out to destroy one thing, your purpose.

When we lose the will to fight, faith becomes a battlefield. I was reading some extra material when I went through Romans a few weeks ago. Based on the scripture, you can substitute the word faith, for trust.

There is a difference, to me, in saying, “I have faith” (ambiguous at times for me), rather than, “I trust you God”. I trust that God is who He says He is; I trust that He has a purpose for me; and, I trust that He has the power to make that happen because I cannot fight this enemy on my own.

If I no longer have trust, I no longer see that my purpose, in Christ, is significant to the kingdom. When we stop fighting we concede that we do not trust Him to accomplish His purpose. We no longer believe that He is powerful enough to work through us to His end.

Throughout this progression, there is that nagging…you know what I am talking about. All of us have felt that horrible sense that my prayers are not heard, that my actions are futile, and that my heart is heavy. This is the impending shipwreck.

Our conscience is what gives us self-awareness. Some could call it a function of the Spirit in our lives. It is what tells us to do this, and avoid that. When we cross it, these twinges are small, but they grow. They become endless nights, staring at the ceiling. Days feel like a brick sits on our hearts as it sluggishly pumps against this unwelcome weight.

I know you understand. We are careening to the coastline. We no longer have a course or the heart to find it. The closer we get to land, the less we trust that God is going to keep us from complete destruction. The battle seems to be over, as the open waters have been offered up to the enemy.

It started with that twinge. By rejecting our conscience, we end up shipwrecked. In retrospect, the shipwreck is never worth the distraction.

Our conscience is something that deserves a fight, because there is nothing that can offer freedom but this. That is why Paul bothers to plead with Timothy to stay on course. He is simply a young man with a purpose.

We are simply women with a purpose. Stay on track, trust God, and listen moment-to-moment to what you know is right and wrong. Be careful.

Do you have a passion, a purpose for ministry?

Are you fighting for it or against it?

Do you trust in God to accomplish His purpose in you?

How is your conscience at the end of the day?

Father, thank you for using us all for exactly your purpose. Instill in us a passion for your kingdom work, and give us the strength to fight. Let us trust completely in you, as you have proven yourself faithful and steadfast. Examine us and clear our conscience for your purpose.

VBS Final Day

This is the last post of VBS week. I have really had so much fun and God has proved Himself sovereign to me, once more. Despite our imperfect ways, knowledge and stumbling tongues, He has glorified Himself.

How great that none of my efforts can thwart God's will. The Great Commission is really all about our willingness to open our mouths. He will give the words. He wanted those kids and this week He took them for Himself, for His sake. It was so amazing to watch.

I almost saw the moment that the Holy Spirit made Himself known to one little girl. I just saw her face change in front of my eyes. She accepted the Lord and she will be baptized. That was my gift this week. There were five others that made commitments.

Today I was tearing down and honestly, I was a little bit sad. I know that God will give me another little nugget of Him, but I will be sad to see this one go. I had one goal, that our efforts would be God honoring. I think that they were. We loved on them and told them about Jesus. That is pretty good for one week.

I would not have been capable of this several years ago. I love to do new things and see how God has changed me, without my knowledge. I am sure that this was one of those things that was as much for me as for them.

I was also able to teach alongside some of the high school girls in my discipleship group. What a wonderful way to build relationships, doing ministry side by side. That is another great thing that has come out of this week. I love to see God's people working together, and enjoying it.

So, we will put the curtains down, the Egyptian archway entrance, the homemade Mt. Sinai complete with clouds, lightening bolt and the Ten Commandment tablets, and wait to see what happens when God calls the little children to Himself next year.

In the meantime, thank you Father for giving me an idea how I should come to you...like a child. I hope that it is one of the quieter ones, but any of them would be fine.

VBS Day Three

VBS…exhilarating…exhausting…enlightening…

Today we talked about the birth of Christ, the death of Christ, and the resurrection of Christ. Kids know SO many snippets of these stories. It has been such a fun week talking to them and hearing their funny little stories. I know so much dirt on their parents!

One thing that was surprising to them, today, was the sadness surrounding the death of Christ. It was hard for them to hear.

We read Matthew 27:27, “Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the governor’s headquarters, and they gathered the whole cohort around him. They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and after twisting some thorns into a crown, they put it on his head. They put a reed in his right hand and knelt before him and mocked him, saying, ‘Hail, King of the Jews!’ They spat on him, and took the reed and struck him on the head. After mocking him, they stripped him of the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him.”

It is hard to stomach, huh? It should be.

There were children in the room with their mouths open and tears in their eyes when I read this. They thought it was so horrible that Jesus was treated like this. You know what? It was beautiful to watch.

Can you remember what it was like to hear this story for the first time? I have gone to church my whole life. I grew up on bible stories. Today, I regained some feeling where I had been numbed from repetition. I saw what it was like to love someone and then find out that they were hurt.

I encourage you to look at this story with fresh eyes. It is part of what drew us to Jesus in the first place.

Father, thank you for your Spirit’s power in scripture. Thank you for giving us the heart to read it with fresh eyes. Renew your word in us, Lord. Let us see it for the first time, today.

VBS Day Two

I am learning such new interesting theology in VBS (I have kids going into 1^st grade through going into 6^th grade). You don’t have to worry about telling the whole story because kids will just fill in the gaps. I have heard bible verses made up on the spot, and that is pretty hysterical. I have heard extra commandments. One thing is for sure, kids understand…you break a rule, you pay for it.

This is a valuable trait to work with when explaining salvation to them. I caught on to that one right away. We lose that as adults. We start to think that, somehow, we are naturally good. Scripture tells us that we are not. If I have to be honest…I know that I am not.

I had one little girl who kept telling me that she did not murder anyone. Then I gave her 1 John 3:15, “All who hate a brother or sister are murderers, and you know that murderers do not have eternal life abiding in them.” She just kept repeating to me, “But I never killed anybody, and my mom and dad haven’t killed anybody”. This is good information to know.

Like my little lady friend, I know many adults who are much more concerned about the letter of the law rather than the intent of the law. Are we striving to please God’s heart? Have we looked at the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20), lately? They were and are our commandments for us to live by.

1. You shall have no other gods before me
2. You shall not make for yourself an idol
3. You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord
4. Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy
5. Honor your father and mother
6. You shall not murder
7. You shall not commit adultery
8. You shall not steal
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor
10. You shall not covet

How are we doing?

1. Is God first?

2. Have we given other things value that hinders our relationship with God?

3. Do we throw around God’s name in ways that do not reflect His holiness?

4. Do we take time off to focus on Him?

5. Do we honor our parents, not obey or respect, but really honor them?

6. Do we hate people and disassemble their existence in our minds?

7. Are we guarding our marriages from any stealers of our affections?

8. Are we taking things that are not ours, that belong to God and Him alone?

9. Are we spiteful and backstabbing? Do we say things that are not true about others?

10. Do we want what other people have? Are we content with what we do have?

All of these questions bring us back to God’s intent for our lives. Are we breaking God’s law? And, if so, are we asking forgiveness for it? These are laws to protect us and create a peaceful community of believers with the same focus. Our purpose is to bring glory to God. These laws point us to that end.

So, this is the next thing that I have learned from vacation bible school. Sometimes, we need to go back to the basics to remember who God is.

Today, we found out that we all break God’s laws…tomorrow, what God did about it. Pray for this because we have a lot of unchurched kids in our group.

Father, thank you for your commandments. Thank you for revealing these to us so we know how to live for your pleasure. In your grace, let us see where we are breaking your laws. Give us repentance in our hearts as we look for you.

I am a Recovering Leatherman

Acts 9:15, NRSV, “But the Lord said to him, ‘Go, for he is an instrument whom I have chosen to bring my name before Gentiles and kings and before the people of Israel;’”

My mother is emphatic about a woman being able to fix/remodel things around the house. For as long as I can remember, she has had a basket containing a staple gun, a screwdriver, nails, tape, and various other stray tools of the basic variety. With this basket, my mother could remake anything. I think of that basket fondly as it entered homes across Texas placing fear in the hearts of curtain rods everywhere.

So, a few years ago, I went to Cabela’s with my husband and father. I saw nothing that peaked my interest except the camping supplies that made any dreary trip to the wilderness seem more like home. Then, there in the aisle, was a shiny bright Leatherman.

For anyone who does not know what this is, it is a four inch long solution to a toolbox. My mother could have ruled the world with this instrument. It is about three pounds of countless gadgets that all fold up neatly into this carrying case, about the size of a long cell phone. Magic happens with this thing, and that day I got one.

Utility is important and I have been thinking about mine lately. I am asking God in prayer right now what He wants me to do with His time. I am involved in a slew of activities, both leading and following. Here it is so hot, that we basically take the summer off, which gives you enough of a break to look toward the fall with a clear head. I know that God only wants me to dedicate myself to the activities that He has ordained. So, I might cut or I might add…I have no idea. I just desire to be useful.

This means that there is ministry that I am built for, I was made for. It also means that there is ministry that is not mine. Even when God was talking about Paul in this passage, He was very specific about his mission. Paul was to bring God’s name before the Gentiles and kings and the people of Israel. He was a preacher, with a unique mission. Everything in Paul said that he was made for this service to God, and 2000 years later we all know of Paul’s dedication to preaching the gospel.

An instrument is crafted. It has a sharp end on this side, and a handle on that side, or vice versa. There are so many variations of sharp ends and handles it can make your head spin. A scalpel is built to concisely cut. A hatchet is built to divide, I think. Instruments are made for specific things, while the materials that they could act on are different.

If I am a teacher, I can teach youth or seniors or children because I am a teacher. If I am an administrative guru, I can organize files and people because I am administrative. If I am a wife, I can have my home organized and prepared to offer hospitality because I am a wife. I could add to this wife list, but I might lose you. Also, if we are wives, there is a priority to the use of our instrument. Our home comes first. We have to put this in order before we impose ourselves on other mediums.

Saul brought God’s name (ministry) before the Gentiles, kings, and Israelites (mediums). God assigns people specific tasks to complete His purpose.

We ooh and aah over the human Leatherman’s of the world, those people who have forty-seven tools in their arsenal but can never use any of them effectively. They are shiny at the end of an aisle, but rarely get anything accomplished, believe me I have tried. Instead of a vast resource, they become the exhausted broken wheel with lots of tools, but not one that can fix them. This inflicts chaos and lethargy on any ministry. When we become Leatherman’s we are no longer involved in effective ministry.

I am eager to see how God narrows down my field and increases my effectiveness. I want for Him to multiply Himself in me, which is the opposite of spreading me thin. I have never said no to something that was not picked up and handled by someone else. I also do not regret saying no, anymore. It takes much greater wisdom to know where you can be multiplied, rather than diluted.

Let’s evaluate our usefulness and make sure that we are headed in the directions that God has laid out for us.

Father, thank you for using us at all. We know that you could do everything yourself perfectly, but instead you ask us to be a part of your purpose. Show us where you choose to use us as your instrument, and where we need to step away.

The Eternal Reassurance List

It doesn't exist. That is my word for today.

Luke 13:24 & 25, NRSV, “Strive to enter through the narrow door; for many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able. When once the owner of the house has got up and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and to knock at the door, saying, ‘Lord, open to us,’ then in reply he will say to you, ‘I do not know where you come from.’”

I was reading this passage this morning and I disappointed myself. I found the question going through my head was, “Like how narrow are we talking about here?” There are some daily definites that I just don’t need. I don’t need to know how long I will have to wait in line at the bank or grocery store. I don’t even need to know if someone in my house will get sick today (We have had two dogs with tummy issues overnight…sleepy house today). Apparently, I would like to know if I am thinking to broadly about this door, however.

Since I got married in my 30s, I spent some time doing singles’ ministry discipleship beforehand. It was a lot of fun; but, let’s face it, one of the primary goals of the group was to graduate to the newly married class. One morning there was a free-for-all in Sunday School, although we don’t call it that anymore, do we? I still use the term Big Church, too. The topic was dating…

So, there we were, assured that no one would be judged for asking any question, and…bam. “How far is too far before marriage?” This is the question on a lot of singles’ minds. As the pastor stammered for an answer, a very wise guy stood up and asked why we would even ask this question.

See, the flaw in our logic is the very nature of the question. We want to know how to walk just far enough over “the obedience line” to say that we did it right. We want for Christ to say, “You can kiss, but no heavy petting”. I still don’t know what heavy petting means, exactly. I always picture my husband petting me heavily on the head. I don’t think that is it.

So, what about this narrow door? What are we expecting Christ to say? If you give 10%, that will cover that area. If you read your bible for 15 minutes and pray for 15 minutes that will cover that area. Oh, and make three out of four Sundays in a pew. Our task list could be renamed, “Eternal Reassurance List”. It would be magnificent. I would get my gold star stickers out and sleep well at night. It would also be predictable, stagnant and Pharisaical…things that our Savior is not.

You and I both know that this mentality has nothing to do with relationship. It has nothing to do with this narrow door. My husband would be so offended if I just made a checklist to get by in our marriage, even though it might be useful if he could tell me exactly what would fill him up to the brim everyday. I would get out my gold stars and rename my task list, “The Happy Marriage List”. I think that he deserves four home cooked meals per week, one clean bathroom and approximately 20 minutes of engaging conversation per night. But, that would never work in our home. It is my job to find out what he needs and meet those as best as I can. My husband is looking for authentic.

One of our pastors preached yesterday on this passage, Luke 9:23 & 24, NRSV, “Then he said to them all, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it.” He made an interesting emphasis.

Every day we have to take up our cross, not The Cross. It is our assigned cross that only we can carry through this life. The deeper I get into relationship with Christ, the more I realize that my cross is wrapped in the way that I grew up and the influences that I experienced. It is the injustices and the concerns of my life, but it is not to be a burden to tote around in that form. My cross is then covered in the blood of Christ. All of these things that make up my cross are roads to refining me for eternity. They make up the narrow door that leads to my freedom.

There are points in my life where I could have really sweated a passage like this, but here is what I have found. The longer that I walk this road, the more Christ narrows my path. The temptations, trials and pleasures do not have the same texture to them. They seem different and my cross feels different. It gets less cumbersome the further I go. I am drawn to different things and repelled by new things. It is extraordinary when I realize that God is changing my very composition. I cannot do that, but He does. I literally am a new creation with new desires and contentedness. I can see that whenever I do face that door, He will have me just where He wants me.

Let’s desire His work in our life today.

Father, let us come before you as a blank slate. Make the changes that only you can make in order to prepare us for that narrow door. Thank you for your constant provision and care in this process.

Toil and Like It!

Excess…lack of moderation…indulgence…absorbed…too much…me

I do things in excess. If I like it a little, I usually like it a lot. If I don’t like it, I leave it alone. I can’t clean the house a little. I like a clean house and when I choose to do it, get out of the way. I like food and want what I like, sometimes a lot of it. I should post the chocolate trifle recipe that I like…mercy! I have trouble with moderation. Ecclesiastes is giving me a new word for it…vanity.

I was in a discipleship role in a church several years ago. I remember that I slept very little, had an open door policy (I have boundaries now), ate standing up, worked, went to school, did ministry and complained about all of it. When the question began, “Could anyone….”, I would come running with my hand raised, “Me, me, me!” The sad thing is that I really did mean well. I guess that I thought I was that gifted. I had the desire, but desire has a center and dissipates with each thing that it touches. Everyone has to dip from the pool of their unique resources. Yes, we have access to the resources of heaven, but we have AN earthly purpose with A mortal body. God is concerned for these things. Often it is the mortal body that creates boundaries for us. That is an interesting day!

Ecclesiastes says it like this, Chapter 2, verse 22, “What do mortals get from all the toil and strain with which they toil under the sun? For all their days are full of pain, and their work is a vexation; even at night their minds do not rest. This also is vanity.” This verse addresses those days and nights of self-important sleeplessness with which I have engaged. I have indulged many times in forcing my body to exceed natural limitations, to be a dysfunctional slave to my perceived needs. I have scoffed at the Creator saying, “You just were not thinking of me when you made rest”. What vanity! If you are losing nights of sleep, ask yourself if you are changing anything through this form of neglect. Solomon says, “NO”.

Ecclesiastes 2:24, “There is nothing better for mortals than to eat and drink, and find enjoyment in their toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God…” God desires that we eat, drink, toil, AND enjoy it. I have so many thoughts on this, so just one today.

Isn’t it wonderful to see a woman who enjoys her home? I love to go to someone’s house just dripping with hospitality. They invite you in and give you something yummy to eat and drink. You know that she would be fine if you said, “Could you give me a second, I just want to stretch out for a nap”. You are not afraid that you will catch something if you take your shoes off and put your feet on the floor. She loves this job, and it is a job, ladies. This is toil. The foundation for the kingdom takes place in her kitchen and living room. Think of all of the people that you have had in your home. Think of all of the talks that you have had around your kitchen tables. This is the toil that the Lord honors; the ministry of our homes. Eating, drinking, and toil are the first things that Solomon delineates as from the hand of God.

So congratulations, we are naturally disposed to toil/enjoyment. If you are toiling meaninglessly, stop it. Find some enjoyment in what you do. If you are talking about how meaningless your life is because of the toil that you do, love those around you and stop. I am so grateful that no one was unkind to me, but when I look back, how embarrassing. I should have just carried around a sign saying, “dissatisfied and vocal”. Of course, this might mean that you have to open your heart to a larger purpose for your toil. Ask God to show you what enjoyment there is in his plan for you. You might even find that you are living the wrong plan. We need to know when to say, “Yes” and “no” for this enjoyment thing to work.

So, we will intentionally toil, eat and drink, knowing that it is from the hand of God.

Thank you Father that you do not desire us to be drones in this life. You offer us the joy that is part of your character. Let us examine our hearts and search for your purposes. Give us moderation and hope that we can change.