Thursday, October 29, 2009

I Was At The End of My Rope, Too

But if you will not listen,

my soul will weep in secret for your pride;

my eyes will weep bitterly and run down with tears,

because the Lord’s flock has been taken captive. – Jeremiah 13:17, NRSV

Sometimes, Christians make mistakes. Often, I do.

A friend of mine has been struggling under a situation for several years. I have been hurt over it, I have been angry about it, I have done the brain roll, I have cautioned her, I have listened to her, and I have prayed over her. The situation has not changed.

What do we do when people that we love are walking away from truth?

Years ago, I was engaged to a man, not my husband. I had walked away from the church and anything that I once believed hung by a thread. I had created a religious amalgam from all of my philosophical preferences. It could hardly be called spiritual, considering that it was all about me, although I would have claimed that I was spiritual.

The engagement was a mistake. It was blatantly disobedient to God’s word. In the middle of it, I rejected all wisdom. Apparently, I was so bold about it that friends and family did not question my behavior. No one said, “Hey, this isn’t the best for you”. No one.

I will be honest. In retrospect, I am most sad that no one acted on my behalf. I would like to think that people were weeping for my sin, desiring to intervene. I just don’t know that they were. How could anyone assume that I was actually happy in the middle of blatant sin? This has given me a heart for women in this position. God has sent many in my path. I find our stories similar.

The irony is that my sadness over my own situation has not changed my behavior toward my friend. I would like to say that I have wept for the sin of my friend frequently, but I have not. I would say that once or twice I have been that true of a friend.

For me, there was Paige, my Jeremiah. She actually worked for me. I still can weep from gratitude that she was sent into my life. In the midst of complete turmoil, she nudged me back. She never condemned me, but by watching her compassion and her own struggles, I was reintroduced to God’s character. She told me that she would pray for me. She was a drink of water in the barren desert.

I don’t know what she did in private, how she asked God to restore my life, but He did. Now, I am in this situation with my friend. I don’t want to hold the same assumptions that others held about me. I know, intimately, the sound of truth against a broken life. When I compared Paige’s words to my life, I could define my hopelessness. I know that heaven began preparations for my return in these moments.

For my friend I want peace, God’s love, happiness, a hope, and a future.

For Paige, I will give all the jewels in my crown and anything else she wants.

For myself, I want the heart of Jeremiah.

How do you react to a friend who is walking away from the truth?


  1. Oh man, Tracy, you so spoke me heart in these words, "I am most sad that no one acted on my behalf." I can't tell you how many times that thought has broken my heart all over again. As I type, I'm fighting back the tears. I know that hurt, but PRAISE GOD, I know the reconciliation you speak of, too!

    As for my reaction to a wayward friend, I keep to the idea that I have to be able to live with myself at the end of each day. That requires honesty, integrity, and truly wanting what is best for the people in my life. Thankfully, that is always the God thing. Sometimes it isn't easy, but nothing is too wonderful for our Lord and I just try to cling to that.

  2. This was such a powerful post! I think often we get swayed into thinking that we don't want to hurt the other person, yet they obviously are already hurting from their choices.
    These types of situations can be so difficult. But, I guess that is where our Lord intervenes and guides us if we allow him.

  3. I hopped over from the team of Exempilfy. I look forward to getting to know you.

    I'm going through this right now with some family members. Some are at the point that they get angry if I say anything, however, I continue to pray. My brother, who finally got his life back on track, calls me regularly now because he knows I was praying for him during that time.



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