Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Getting Left In the Dark

Oh, I can barely contain myself. I have been with my mentor for a couple of hours this morning, and, as usual, God showed up.

I have been writing about transition. That explains what my life feels like right now; it is about “the next”, whatever that is. Often, transition in our Christian walk feels like the lights go out.

I am in a season of intense times with God. I have been in it since April. My days are planned around quiet times, often hours. I love it, but I feel that my season is changing.

My transition has been affirmed through the last few weeks. I have found that in my quiet times with God, He has moved just a little. I am humbled and grateful that it has made me want to reach further for Him. Let me tell you why…

In the past, instead of reaching further, I have stopped reaching. I have coveted that presence in the emotional space where it once resided. I have made the mistake of turning this movement of God against myself in mourning. If He does not stay fixed, then it must be my fault. Often, I have tried to analyze what I had done wrong. What did I do to make Him go away? Where should I be repenting?

This is a lie. God loves us more than we can imagine, more than I can imagine. If He moves, it is for me to follow. I have found myself simply desperate to follow Him. All that He had to do was move a little.

I do try to look to God in all things. I look to Him for my very life, but He is now calling me to watch for Him. There is a difference in looking to, and watching for. One lifts my head and the other makes me scan the horizon with anticipation. I have determined this, when God is on the move He wants my attention.

Let me give you an example that helped me. If you put a baby in front of a stimulus that repeats, eventually the baby’s heart rate will slow. It grows accustomed to the stimulus. If you introduce a new stimulus to the baby, the heart rate goes up. Yes, I am the baby in this scenario.

When God wants my attention, what better way than to take a step back? It makes me want Him more. Last month I reached for Him, assured of where my hand would land; and, now, I need to reach out to the unchartered, trusting that He will guide my hand right into the palm of His own.

So, I will raise my hands, cry out “Abba, Father” to find a resting place for my soul. I will worship Him and thank Him for this new season. God is on the move and that is a reason to rejoice, no matter what happens.

Do not remember the former things,

or consider the things of old.

19 I am about to do a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

and rivers in the desert. – Isaiah 43:18 & 19, NRSV

I would love to hear what you think about times of transition. Have you ever stopped reaching, like me? Leave me a comment and let me know what is on your mind.

1 comment:

  1. If He moves, it is for me to follow.

    Love this--love you!


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