The Relationship Summit Meeting

When my husband and I were dating, he was always one step ahead of me in the falling in love department. I was cautious. Before we started dating, I had not been on a date in two years. So, when this guy started wooing me, I wanted to make sure every “t” was crossed and every “i” doted. Sounds romantic, right? It was a miracle he married me.

We had THE talks. They are like the summit meetings of the dating world. Only necessary once a quarter, or so, they identify the couple. Are you my boyfriend? Is it time to meet the family? Do we spend holidays together? These are springboards to the next step.

There is something intimate and looming about these. Just the words, “I think that we should talk about us”, can break a sweat on one’s brow. I am not sure that ever goes away.

Sometimes these definitions help us. They encourage us to ground ourselves in relationship and recreate boundaries of trust, and even roles. It pays to know that you are loved and not just liked.

Now we have marriage summit meetings which are different from dating summit meetings. If my husband asks me who he is today, some of my responses would be caregiver, provider, spoiler, invested, loving. He was not a caregiver before we were married. It was a process and a comfort to find this out about my husband.

Speaking these qualities out loud is like a relationship marker in time. It shows how far we have come, and it instills courage for progress and “the next thing”, whatever that is.

Now my point…I have been wondering what my “next thing” is with God, lately. But, what questions do you ask? Where will we be in five years? It just doesn’t work that way, in my experience.

This morning when I was reading, He showed me a place where God entrusted a relationship summit with responsibility.

Matthew 16:13-18, NRSV,

Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” ¹⁴ And they said, “Some say John the Baptist, but others Elijah, and still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” ¹⁵ He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” ¹⁶ Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” ¹⁷ And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father in heaven. ¹⁸ And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it.

The interesting thing about this passage is its beginning. Jesus asks Peter to tell Him who He is. Who is Jesus?

When Peter finished the combined laundry list of scripture and here say, Jesus asked Him again. I have a picture in my mind of His expression when asking this. Peter knew exactly what the question was. Who is Jesus to me? They were having a relationship summit.

Peter’s answer girded this relationship with new understanding. This summit had resulted in the confirmation that Jesus was seeking as Peter unknowingly confessed the revelation of God.

On this day, the life of Simon Peter was never the same. That is the power of marking relationships in time.

This has become a part of my prayer life. I sit and think about who God is to me. I name God according to what He has done in my life. I acknowledge the ways that our relationship has grown and the ways that He has revealed Himself to me. It can look different every morning.

At the summit between Peter and Jesus, Peter was given the keys to the kingdom. There is power in answering this question, “Who is Jesus to you?”

If you haven’t done it lately, I encourage you to make a little time over a snack, a piece of paper and a pencil. Hold your own relationship summit and speak the roles of God in your life. Then, see where He takes you.

What is a name that you give Jesus in your prayer life? Share some with me in the comments section.

Father, thank you for your willingness to reveal yourself to your people. Show us who you are in our lives. Let us be bold and come to these summits with you to move us into your kingdom work.

We Do Not Have Satellite Ears

I was watching a fun new show on NBC, called Community, this weekend. That would be the birthday weekend in which I turned 35, and ate massive amounts of cake.

I celebrated my birthday with my husband. He cooked all weekend, gave me gifts, and let me give myself a mani/pedi, start-to-finish, sans interruption. It was incredible.

Community is actually scheduled on Thursday nights after The Office. We are DVR people, though. So, if it gets watched, it happens without commercials and at our convenience. This being said, we sat in bed and caught up on DVR shows to really spoil me.

This week’s show was called, Social Psychology. It was about building relationships through gossip. It might sound harsh, but at one time or another we have all listened to some unkind word when getting to know someone. Perhaps we giggled, instead of defending or not reacting at all. I know that I have done it.

I like the take home message. You might find yourself in this one, too.

The show was also about getting caught, which is the worst part of talking about someone. I have done that, too. Getting caught is the best way to break oneself of gossiping!

Side note: I found out that one of the main characters, Yvette Nicole Brown or Shirley Bennet as she is called on the show, is involved with The Revolve Tour. The Revolve Tour is Women of Faith’s conference for high school girls. Small world, eh?

She was one of the main gossipers in this week’s show and it tickled me even more from the perspective of a Christian woman. Here is the link to Social Psychology (click on this green title), if you have time.

Everyone was dealing with gossip in their own way, mostly perpetuating it, but Chevy Chase or Pierce Hawthorne on the show, had an interesting take. He got an ear satellite to wear around, making it possible to hear everyone’s conversations.

At the end of the show, he throws it away. He explains, “See, Jeff, there are certain things that man was not meant to hear. We are designed by, whatever entity you choose, to hear what’s in this range (motioning immediately in front of him) and really this range alone. ‘Cause you know who’s talking to us in this range? The people we love.”

Ok, Pierce is a little shallow, but he couldn’t speak truer words. God made us to hear the words in front of us; and, if we were supposed to listen to all the peripheral garbage then we would have satellite ears.

I don’t usually leave posts like this, but this struck me. I believe that we have a practical God, a practical Creator. He is not bound by practicality, but we are made to function perfectly in His world, and so are our ears.

There are two things that can happen with our perfectly practical sense of hearing. We are made to hear words of love. So, if you love the people in this region (motioning immediately in front of me), then tell them. Hearing works both ways.

The second option that you have is withholding these words.

I have some dear friends who have experienced a great loss this weekend. I can say that they never withhold. It is such a gift to know them and be enveloped in their lives. You always know what you mean to them because they are quick to leave that in the region immediately in front of you.

We have spoken, often, about having no regrets. When you gush (one of my new useful words) love on each other, you never have a thing to regret. We are made to hear the gushing, so…

GET GUSHING!

In the comment section, let me know if you saw this episode, or if you linked to it. I know you will love it.

Also, in the comment section, let me know if you plan to gush a little today. I look forward to hearing from you.

Happy Birthday, Tomorrow

So, as a pre-gift to myself, I will ramble on.

For my birthday you can,

Think of me eating an assortment of cake from Tammy Coe Cakes. Yes, that is right. My husband is getting me this for my “birthday cake”. It will actually be pieces of cake, so we can try out all of the flavors (so I can try out all of the flavors).

For those of you who are familiar with this indescribable gem, I think that you should be.

Milk Chocolate Cake with Hazelnuts.

How do I describe this? Well, talking about this cake is like watching New Years at Times Square on TV. Eating it is like riding the ball as it drops in Times Square on New Years Eve. Now that we understand each other…

Celebrate my prime with me. This will be a whole new year of discoveries in the prime of my womanhood. I will let you know what these are in graphic detail.

I look forward to finding out what they are in graphic detail.

I will be 35 years old. I am proud of each of these years. I just noticed a few months ago that when I smile, I can see exactly the paths where all my wrinkles will reside. I was so glad to know that smiling has done this to me. It was worth every giggle!

Pray for me right NOW! I have a friend who stops and prays when anyone asks her so that she will not forget. So, do it now, before you stop reading and move on. I appreciate you.

Keep reading. You warm my heart and you are the best birthday present a blogger could want. Thanks.

The thing that makes me more joyful than anything is one more year drawing closer to my King. What a gift that I know Him more, hold Him dearer, can piece us apart less than any other year. Thank you, Jesus!

Bonus gifts to me:

If you have not done so, become my friend on Facebook.

If you have not done so, let’s follow each other on Twitter.

The Superior Scribbler Award

I have met a wonderful girl through this blogging thing. Her name is Victoria. She is also my immediate boss/editor/girlfriend over at Exemplify. FYI, Exemplify is doing a make over this week, so next week is going to be the grand unveiling. I cannot wait to see what it looks like!

You will find me on the Exemplify Devotional channel next week; but, more to come on that.

Anyway, Victoria has put a smile on my face. Last week she gave me a blog award, my very first. I SO appreciate her sweet encouragement. She is a fellow blogger over at, Let the Son Shine. Her poetry, her pictures, her obsession with Duran Duran, her spirit…she is the real deal. She is wife, mom, daughter of the King, comforter (she takes care of me!) and authentic woman of God.

Victoria, thank you.

From blogging, I have learned what it means to be steadfast in a calling. I would not be doing this if my husband had not told me several times to stay the course. Yes, babe, you were right.

So, Dwight, thank you.

Here it is:

Of course, as with every Bloggy Award, there are A Few Rules. They are, forthwith:

1) Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.

2) Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

3) Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.

4) Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!

5) Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

I am a rule follower, so I would like to award some of my bloggy friends. I hate for people to be left out, so this is, potentially, the hardest thing that I have ever posted. I can’t believe it has taken me this long to write. So, I hope that it encourages you, also. In no order,

1. Your Word is Life To Me, is a picture of real faith. Here you can find Dori’s thoughts on God’s word and working through everyday life. I think that we share a love for scripture and I find this in her posts. So, thank you, Dori.

2. I am going to use one of Victoria’s. I just love Faith Imagined. Alisa talks about everything from slugs to Starbucks. She has a wonderful way of writing that brings you right back around to the feet of Jesus. Thank you, Alisa.

3. Ordinary Inspirations for the Everyday Wife, Mom & Homemaker is one that I pop by frequently. I love the way Traci talks about her kids, and I love her heart for God. She is so blog-generous. She is willing to pull people up with her and I love that spirit. Thank you, Traci. What a great name!

4. A new-to-me find is {this} restless heart. I never know what I will find in Kelly’s world, but I see a real woman with a love for the word and all words. She crafts her posts, delicately. Thank you, Kelly.

5. Now I am stealing from Christy, over at Critty Joy. She awarded the Exemplify blog ladies, and I also love those who post at Exemplify. They constantly challenge me and point me back to the cross. I enjoy them tremendously. Thank you, ladies.

My Mouth Speaks What Is In My Heart, Argh!

For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. (Matthew 12:34b, NRSV)

This is pretty much the most terrifying thing that I can think of, and probably because I already demonstrated it this morning. Apparently, my heart abounds in the right to not be questioned. How has your morning started?

I wrote about pruning yesterday. One of the areas of my life that has been “adjusted” is my mouth. I come from a line of yellers. During the first year of my marriage, my husband asked me to stop yelling. I did. I can’t tell you how. Thirty years of yelling was offered up and taken from me. It was awesome.

My faults go beyond that, though. In my lifetime, I somehow achieved the highest rankings in the right to be right. It has been a process of extreme humility to learn to keep my mouth shut. I actually feel my blood pressure change sometimes when I stand there and take it. Am I ever sorry that I didn’t speak? Are you kidding me? Never.

I have gotten myself into so much trouble because of my mouth. I am always grateful for the Spirit’s intercession and the thousand pound weight that He gently places on my tongue. It makes my life so much easier, not now, but later. All of the things that I want to say in the moment I never even remember in 15 minutes.

This morning my flesh got plucked. I responded. Although, I did not yell, I lectured. Which is worse? I have so much to learn.

The abundance of my heart is not flattering, and it does come out of my mouth, sometimes. That means I have a lot of unflattering moments through this mouth. Some of you are shaking your heads and saying, “I know, Trace, I have seen it”.

I went on a speaking fast, one time. It drove my husband crazy, especially because I did not tell him that was what I was doing. He thought I was upset for days. During my speaking fast, I realized how little I really need to say and that you should warn people when you make big decisions like not speaking for a period of time.

In mornings like these, my resolve is strengthened because I have seen the ugly. I want to do better. This morning, I was reading Matthew 11:29, NRSV, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

I usually get caught on the light yoke part, dreaming of the rest to come; but, I saw something new. I saw the two commands, take my yoke and learn. I know that I am in the process of learning, but there are some lessons that I struggle under. I desire to learn how to shut my mouth.

The best that I can say for now is that some days are better than others. Some days I say too much and some days I say too little. This is an area that I desire to learn. I have found that it, above most things, can make a difference in directing all things back to Him.

Is your mouth a lesson that you are learning?

Father, thank you for the thousand pound weight that your Spirit brings. I pray that you would strengthen my resolve to learn from you what it is to be gentle and humble from my mouth. Let my abundance point to you.