In response to a conversation, yesterday:
Because my husband is awesome at what he does, he has been challenging me about the elements of this blog at my own request. I have been praying that I am faithful to God’s intent for it, while doing the best job that I can. It is strange to put so much effort into something of which you never see the fruits. Comments are wonderful and encouraging because they essentially tell you that you are not writing a private journal or a storehouse of future teaching topics, so thank you to those who spur me on in that way. I have so many completely non-techy friends and family, and I know that they do everything that they can just to log in. Thank you for being uncomfortable.
I can honestly say that this was a leap of faith. When I first felt that God was leading me to write, I cried and rocked and made sure that God remembered that I had only written papers in school. I even said, “What are you thinking?” What a vain thing to say to my Creator! I don’t even keep a consistent journal. I do have a lot of thoughts and opinions, but as someone desiring obedience, those are not always the best when shared. Proverbs encourages people like me to button up my lips. So, basically, I don’t know how I got here, and I don’t know where I am going.
I set up the blog on a Saturday, because I had to start on a Monday. This is because I am AR, and for no other reason. I had not even thought of a title for it. I just kept thinking that this was something that needed to reflect growth. I am in this process of becoming. There is no easy way to get there. I learn painful lessons and I pray and I read God’s word. I have been through suffering and trials. I have made some really bad choices, which have all been used to His glory, and that is the crazy thing about redemption. He continues to point me to His path, even if it is forceful at times. I am always relieved for the redirection.
In James there are interesting pictures given of a small device being able to move a large body. It is in reference to the tongue. I guess that my tongue is metaphorical in this situation. I actually do not even speak out loud when I write. Anyway…James 3:2-5, “For all of us make many mistakes. Anyone who makes no mistakes in speaking is perfect, able to keep the whole body in check with a bridle. If we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we guide their whole bodies. Or look at ships: though they are so large that it takes strong winds to drive them, yet they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits.”
As I have matured in my Christian walk, I am much more willing to confess my shortcomings. I have many. I am in a process, sanctification…the process of growing in Christ through His grace. Most days, I long for Christ just to stick that bit in my mouth and put that bridle on my body, telling me exactly what to do and say. Problem: I am subject to my own sinful state. If I am not changed from the heart, anyone’s bridle will be a burden and inconvenience. I will rail against my handler and eventually resent Him. I am subject to the selfishness, envy, greed, manipulation, etc., that makes up me.
That is really what we are moving from; every day, every year our bridle becomes a little more real and we become a little more grateful for it. It is no longer the burden of our youth, but the celebration of our wisdom. Our bridle is woven with the experience of a lifetime and the tears of a thankful heart. We become a little more able to be steered by Christ, without the conscious effort that it took before. We move away from the milk of baby steps and take more leaps.
This blog will, hopefully, be a tool that can help Christian women put on the bridle that will keep the whole body in check. There is power in this simple act of submission. I will make mistakes. That is a guarantee, but I want for the Spirit to work so effectively in my life that all it takes is the comfort and security of knowing that I have my spiritual bridle on, to keep me in check. It will no longer feel like I am being tugged or pushed, just the gentle reassurance of His presence.
The tongue, the pen, can simply nudge us along. It can keep the thoughts in check. The Spirit moves through the word and the fellowship of the body. Perhaps, this blog can be one more tool, in our pursuit of Him. It has been such a wonderful gift to me. I pray that itcan be the same for you.